I love preaching (and Presiding, for that matter) at weddings. I was quite happy when our friends Justin and Amy asked me to do theirs last summer. Several of the people in attendance have known me for a long time through Betsy (Amy is a fellow PhD student), but had never seen me do my professional thing. One of Betsy's professors, who happens to be an observant Jew, was particularly surprised and impressed.
Justin just finished his Ph.D. in computer science specializing in the search problem, so the "hook" for this sermon seemed pretty obvious to me as soon as I started writing. The Onion article was the prefect way into that. A fun sermon to give, for sure!
-t
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Streetcar Wedding
This photograph is from a wedding I did a few weeks ago. Most people from Toronto will recognized City Hall in the background. I met the happy couple outside the main entrance shortly after their civil ceremony, and led them in procession with their guests with a giant processional cross to a Streetcar stop on Queen Street. From there we hopped aboard a vintage streetcar that had been chartered to take us to the reception site. While we travelled, I blessed the marriage using the "Blessing of a Civil Marriage" rite. Leading the group of people while wearing full vestments (cassock, surplice, stole, cope) through the streets of Toronto was exhilarating. We got lots of attention from by standards with cameras--all of it positive. The groom and several of the male guests were wearing kilts (mine was hidden under my vestments when the picture was taken), and that just was icing on the cake as far the visual delight of the day goes.
I preached about love on the streetcar--short and sweet--but I could have also preached about intersections. Things have a way of coming together in people's lives, and here we had a heady post-modern mix of civil/religious and public/private happening. How fitting it was to bring all these things together in one shining moment with my friends who live this same tension daily. Because so much of life is dominated by the pastoral persona, I forget how complex that interface can be for people who are faithful, but don't wear their religiosity on their chest the way I do.
When we arrived at the reception site I took off my vestments and spent the rest of the night rocking my new kilt. It's worth a blog entry of it's own, in truth, as it is a garment of epic coolness!
-t
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Living Together Before Marriage--not such a good idea?
The conventional wisdom, especially among younger adults, is that couples should live together for a time before getting married. The assumption, I believe, is that people assume that by living together a couple and test out their relationship. If it survives a few years of living together, than maybe it is worthy of a lifetime commitment.
This sounds reasonable, but the data doesn't support it. The NYT reports that a new study by the National Center for Health Statistics found that adults who live together before getting married about six percent more likely to get divorced within 10 years. Meanwhile, the number of couples who go this round has doubled in the past 15 years. Approximately 61% of women in the late 30's have lived with a sexual partner.
However, couple that were engaged before they started living together are actually more likely to stay together than the average. Other things that increase the likelihood of staying together: marrying after age 26 and having a child 8 months or later into the marriage.
I remember when I was getting ready to be married my therapist, Mary Gates, told me that the mistake couples usually make is to assume that being married is like living together. Actually, she told me, marriage is a whole 'nother beast. Marriage means taking a relationship beyond being about two individuals and brings in the entire clans. "You invite everyone into your bedroom," she said. The living and the dead.
And it's true, in my pastoral and personal experience, that marriage pulls the couple into much larger narratives and dynamics. Often they are simply unprepared for the change that marriage brings. I don't think that this is an issue for engaged couples because they already are living into marriage, and therefore never settle into a pattern of unmarried bliss.
This reforces my conviction that when I'm doing pre-marital counselling of couples that live together I need to talk quite a bit about how things change after marriage.
-t
This sounds reasonable, but the data doesn't support it. The NYT reports that a new study by the National Center for Health Statistics found that adults who live together before getting married about six percent more likely to get divorced within 10 years. Meanwhile, the number of couples who go this round has doubled in the past 15 years. Approximately 61% of women in the late 30's have lived with a sexual partner.
However, couple that were engaged before they started living together are actually more likely to stay together than the average. Other things that increase the likelihood of staying together: marrying after age 26 and having a child 8 months or later into the marriage.
I remember when I was getting ready to be married my therapist, Mary Gates, told me that the mistake couples usually make is to assume that being married is like living together. Actually, she told me, marriage is a whole 'nother beast. Marriage means taking a relationship beyond being about two individuals and brings in the entire clans. "You invite everyone into your bedroom," she said. The living and the dead.
And it's true, in my pastoral and personal experience, that marriage pulls the couple into much larger narratives and dynamics. Often they are simply unprepared for the change that marriage brings. I don't think that this is an issue for engaged couples because they already are living into marriage, and therefore never settle into a pattern of unmarried bliss.
This reforces my conviction that when I'm doing pre-marital counselling of couples that live together I need to talk quite a bit about how things change after marriage.
-t
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wedding Procession
Check this out. Now, if I was the Presider at this wedding you know I would have danced my pretty ass off coming in!
-t
-t
Sunday, August 2, 2009
A Southern Wedding Weekend
I know I haven't been blogging much during this down time. It's partly because I've been very busy between prayer, Tay-time, website development, and then just this past weekend with a wedding I did in North Carolina. Normally, I would not have consented to take a wedding during the middle of my vacation time, but it was an old friend (more than 13 years) and you just don't turn those down. I just got back to the monastery a few hours ago, and my body feels like I was in a fight.
It was a real Southern wedding, complete with Antebellum plantation backdrop, mint juleps, and the sort of stories and drama that you could never make up. Alas, a lot of it is not blog-safe, but I will tell some stories about it eventually ;)
-t
It was a real Southern wedding, complete with Antebellum plantation backdrop, mint juleps, and the sort of stories and drama that you could never make up. Alas, a lot of it is not blog-safe, but I will tell some stories about it eventually ;)
-t
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Pastor's Advice on Marriage: More Sex
The New York Times has a great article about the trend in evangelical circles to encourage (married) couples to have more sex.
There have been a few influential books published recently encouraging couples to have more sex--notable 365 Nights and Just Do It. Both of these are reportedly very funny and free accounts of couples committing to have as much sex as possible despite demanding jobs, children, and middle-age. From what I've heard (I haven't read either one) the embedded gender ideas are basically mainstream (not scary in the way some Evangelical notions of gender can be).
The biblical, theological, and pastoral convictions underlying the role of sex in marriage is, of course, substantial. God wants us to have sex. So why don't we talk more openly about this in Christian marriage? When I do pre-marriage counseling with couples I usually spend at least one session talking about it. One of the things I always mention is that sex inside marriage is very different that the sort of love-making that happens in courtship or even when a couple is living together. Something shifts when you actually get married. A therapist friend of mine (Mary Gates) told me once that when you get married suddenly all your family comes into the bedroom with you. The sex "means" something it didn't before. It has become, in an important sense, more sacramental now that it is contextualized by Word and Spirit.
The notion of sex-as-sacrament is pretty profound. As a sacrament, this "outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace" is a ritual that is what it represents: the union of two people "in mind, body, and soul." It has the power to accomplish that which we cannot do on our own--it takes us beyond ourselves and into a share of the bounty God promises us.
Like all sacraments, the best preparation for sex is forgiveness. Just like we ask God's forgiveness before touching Christ's body, we also need to have a similar spirit of openness and vulnerability when reaching toward our spouse. In fact, I have ever spent time in marriage prep teaching couples how to ask and grant forgiveness. If I teach them nothing else, this may the most important lesson in marriage prep. The sad thing is, many people do not know how to ask for forgiveness in this or any other relationship. Oddly, our culture right now has a hard time with this part of the sin-contrition-newlife cycle and that gets played out in marriages all the time.
Another problem for many couples has to do with the problems that arise from negotiating the tricky boundary between self and other. Psychologists call it "self-differentiation." Here's a scenario, Jane and Mike are married. They always have sex on Friday night, usually after spending time doing something as a couple going to the movies, dinner, or out with friends. Increasingly, however, Jane feels more distant from Mike. As a result, she feels less inclined to make love on Friday nights. Now, if she declines his advances this could be seen as a mark that she is living authentically and not just keeping up appearances. her actions will align with her desires. But, on the other hand it may not help her higher-level goal of having intimacy with her husband. If she has healthy self-differentiation she may be able to think something like, "I really don't feel like this right now, but I will do it for him." Poor self-differentiation might look like, "I really don't feel like this right now, what's wrong with me? I better do it anyway or Mike will get mad..." Note that having sex or not having sex in a particular situation could be the result of poor or good marital health. The key is whether your sacrificial offering of yourself is acceptable or not.
Note that in the Bible not all sacrifices are pleasing to the Lord. In fact, one has to be quite deliberate and careful about what is offered up and how. The wisdom here is that God doesn't want us to make sacrifice for His sake but ours! Thus, one must always examine that which is to be offered carefully.
I'm still learning how to do this this kind of discernment around self-differentiation. Something about the ability to be ones self and yet utterly connected to the other at the same time. Meditation helps, I think, as do the other typical spiritual disciplines: prayer, service to others, listening, study, etc. It's a lesson that takes a lifetime to learn.
-t
Mr. Young, an author, a television host and the pastor of the evangelical Fellowship Church, issued his call for a week of “congregational copulation” among married couples on Nov. 16, while pacing in front of a large bed. Sometimes he reclined on the paisley coverlet while flipping through a Bible, emphasizing his point that it is time for the church to put God back in the bed. ...
Mrs. Young, dressed in knee-high black boots and jeans, said that after a week of having sex every day, or close to it, “some of us are smiling.” For others grappling with infidelities, addictions to pornography or other bitter hurts, “there’s been some pain; hopefully there’s been some forgiveness, too.” (source)
There have been a few influential books published recently encouraging couples to have more sex--notable 365 Nights and Just Do It. Both of these are reportedly very funny and free accounts of couples committing to have as much sex as possible despite demanding jobs, children, and middle-age. From what I've heard (I haven't read either one) the embedded gender ideas are basically mainstream (not scary in the way some Evangelical notions of gender can be).
The biblical, theological, and pastoral convictions underlying the role of sex in marriage is, of course, substantial. God wants us to have sex. So why don't we talk more openly about this in Christian marriage? When I do pre-marriage counseling with couples I usually spend at least one session talking about it. One of the things I always mention is that sex inside marriage is very different that the sort of love-making that happens in courtship or even when a couple is living together. Something shifts when you actually get married. A therapist friend of mine (Mary Gates) told me once that when you get married suddenly all your family comes into the bedroom with you. The sex "means" something it didn't before. It has become, in an important sense, more sacramental now that it is contextualized by Word and Spirit.
The notion of sex-as-sacrament is pretty profound. As a sacrament, this "outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace" is a ritual that is what it represents: the union of two people "in mind, body, and soul." It has the power to accomplish that which we cannot do on our own--it takes us beyond ourselves and into a share of the bounty God promises us.
Like all sacraments, the best preparation for sex is forgiveness. Just like we ask God's forgiveness before touching Christ's body, we also need to have a similar spirit of openness and vulnerability when reaching toward our spouse. In fact, I have ever spent time in marriage prep teaching couples how to ask and grant forgiveness. If I teach them nothing else, this may the most important lesson in marriage prep. The sad thing is, many people do not know how to ask for forgiveness in this or any other relationship. Oddly, our culture right now has a hard time with this part of the sin-contrition-newlife cycle and that gets played out in marriages all the time.
Another problem for many couples has to do with the problems that arise from negotiating the tricky boundary between self and other. Psychologists call it "self-differentiation." Here's a scenario, Jane and Mike are married. They always have sex on Friday night, usually after spending time doing something as a couple going to the movies, dinner, or out with friends. Increasingly, however, Jane feels more distant from Mike. As a result, she feels less inclined to make love on Friday nights. Now, if she declines his advances this could be seen as a mark that she is living authentically and not just keeping up appearances. her actions will align with her desires. But, on the other hand it may not help her higher-level goal of having intimacy with her husband. If she has healthy self-differentiation she may be able to think something like, "I really don't feel like this right now, but I will do it for him." Poor self-differentiation might look like, "I really don't feel like this right now, what's wrong with me? I better do it anyway or Mike will get mad..." Note that having sex or not having sex in a particular situation could be the result of poor or good marital health. The key is whether your sacrificial offering of yourself is acceptable or not.
Note that in the Bible not all sacrifices are pleasing to the Lord. In fact, one has to be quite deliberate and careful about what is offered up and how. The wisdom here is that God doesn't want us to make sacrifice for His sake but ours! Thus, one must always examine that which is to be offered carefully.
I'm still learning how to do this this kind of discernment around self-differentiation. Something about the ability to be ones self and yet utterly connected to the other at the same time. Meditation helps, I think, as do the other typical spiritual disciplines: prayer, service to others, listening, study, etc. It's a lesson that takes a lifetime to learn.
-t
Friday, November 7, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Legal Recognition of the Sacredness of Marriage
Dr. Good blogged about a very interesting aspect of the recent Connecticut court decision on same-sex marriage:
Interesting to come across such unapologetically spiritual language in a court decision.
-t
The lengthy legal decision (cited in the article) includes the following paragraph:
Indeed, marriage has been characterized as ‘‘intimate to the degree of being sacred’’; Griswold v. Connecticut,381 U.S.479,486,85S.Ct.1678,14L. Ed.2d510(1965);see also Turner v. Safley, 482 U.S. 78, 96, 107S.Ct.2254,96 L.Ed.2d64(1987) (‘‘many religions recognize marriage as having spiritual significance’’); and‘‘an institution more basic in our civilization than any other.’’ Williams v. North Carolina,317 U.S.287,303,63S.Ct.207,87 L.Ed.279(1942).
Marriage, therefore, is not merely shorthand for a discrete set of legal rights and responsibilities but is ‘‘one of the most fundamental of human relationships....’’Davis v. Davis, 119 Conn. 194, 203, 175A. 574 (1934).‘‘Marriage...bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family....Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution....’’Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health, 440 Mass. 309, 322, 798 N.E.2d941 (2003).
This is a perspective that needs a hearing in our faith communities. (source)
Interesting to come across such unapologetically spiritual language in a court decision.
-t
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Homily for Lynne and Bob
Here's the recording of my homily from the wedding. I spoke about the meaning of love and the spiritual discipline of marriage. To do this I contrasted the cult of romantic love with the reality of long-term partnership. I ended with a challenge to have courage to always return again to the door of our hope and longing. By the end I was on a nice roll and feeling good.
Here's a direct link to the MP3 file...
-t
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Bourbon and Revelations
Stories from this weekend are going to come in fragments--so here's one...
Before the wedding weekend, I can't say that I knew my sister's fiance well. In fact, I believe I had only met him once in passing at an event with lots of people. So I was glad to have a chance to spend an evening with him in Louisville just before he married my sister. He suggested that he introduce me, properly, to Kentucky Bourbon. What a great idea, I thought!
So we went downtown to a bar with a good selection and spent the first part of our night sampling a "flight" of about 9 fine bourbons. About half an ounce of each was poured into a sample glass and arrayed in front of us. By comparing them to each other we could discover all kinds of subtle distinctions and flavors. I realized, then, that my new brother is a connoisseur! I might have guessed this from the fact that he writes about things like art and food for a living, but I suppose one could write about those things without being a real connoisseur. Being a connoisseur is a disposition of the heart, a Tao of experiencing, that I greatly admire. I like fine things, too, but to be a connoisseur means also spending the time to really learn about the things you enjoy. It's closely tied to sacramental spirituality--in ability to see God in "stuff." Very incarnational. I remember saying to Bob after one memorable sip, "This tastes True." I kept thinking of memorable Single Malt Scotches I've enjoyed with Bede.
From there we went to the Maker's Mark Restaurant on 4th Street. We had another (smaller) flight of Bourbons and talked more about our lives and families and the kinds of things guys talk about to feel close. For supper I had an excellent salad and steak (Rare, of course). BTW, my new Brother-in-Law is far more sophisticated in his ideas about religion and spirituality than the average person. He clearly likes to think about the things that matter to him.
As we were walking back on 4th Street we came to a historical plaque that caught my eye:
in Louisville on the corner of Fourth and Walnut, in the middle of the shopping district, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all these people, that they were mine and I was theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers ... I have the immense joy of being human, a member of the race in which God himself became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now that I realize what we all are. If only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. there is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the Sun. (From Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander)
I was stunned. This is the very corner that my Spiritual Director, Bede, mentioned in his blog a week ago. Bede was talking about interconnectedness. How True does that taste?
So after that evening I feel like I know the guy in the way that guys know each other. He's a "good guy" I would say approvingly!
-t
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Marriage Prep
I just finished doing a marriage prep session with a couple that live in the neighborhood. The actual wedding is being done by another priest out east, but it made sense for them to do the prep here.
Every priest does this differently, and my own style seems to change a lot based on the couple. For instance, sometimes it feels more like couple counseling and we really dig up deep stuff. Other times it's more like a class where I'm giving them "homework" like personality tests and essays about the spirituality of marriage to read.
I notice that a lot of priests seem to approach marriage prep as essentially a psychological issue. They want to explore issues around compatibility and behavior and so forth. Others treat marriage as a liturgical problem, and focus too much on ushering couples through the planning of the ceremony. Me, I like to cover a broad range of stuff and see what resonates with the couple. Ultimately, I'm just there to facilitate a process that is ongoing and will continue long past my brief involvement.
Another thing worth noticing: the couples I've met with are usually very enthusiastic about doing the marriage prep. They take it seriously and believe me when I tell them that studies show that good marriage prep is a significant factor in people staying together.
-t
Every priest does this differently, and my own style seems to change a lot based on the couple. For instance, sometimes it feels more like couple counseling and we really dig up deep stuff. Other times it's more like a class where I'm giving them "homework" like personality tests and essays about the spirituality of marriage to read.
I notice that a lot of priests seem to approach marriage prep as essentially a psychological issue. They want to explore issues around compatibility and behavior and so forth. Others treat marriage as a liturgical problem, and focus too much on ushering couples through the planning of the ceremony. Me, I like to cover a broad range of stuff and see what resonates with the couple. Ultimately, I'm just there to facilitate a process that is ongoing and will continue long past my brief involvement.
Another thing worth noticing: the couples I've met with are usually very enthusiastic about doing the marriage prep. They take it seriously and believe me when I tell them that studies show that good marriage prep is a significant factor in people staying together.
-t
Saturday, May 24, 2008
A Caribbean Wedding
Today I performed a marriage ceremony for a Caribbean couple from my congregation. This is my third wedding since coming to COTM last September. In that time I have had no funerals. In my two years at St. Mary Magdalene the proportion was very different: more funerals, less weddings. I'm not sure that's enough data to say much, but it's worth noting.
The wedding started 45 minutes late (the bride was late), which is to be expected, but is nonetheless nerve-wracking for everyone. I thought my sermon was fine and the ceremony was relatively smooth. Every wedding I do, I get better at it. The difference is subtle things, but it makes a difference. For instance, we didn't have enough chairs out. We should have anticipated that we would have 215+ people! Also, I found it difficult to manage both the leaflet and my BAS. Next time I'll photocopy those out and put them with my leaflet in the little binder I use in the service. There were other details, as well, but its the sort of stuff that makes more of a difference to the Presider and not anyone else.
The reception was fun. Lots of caribbean food. But Betsy and I had to leave early--I've got to manage my energy and time going into Sunday morning.
-t
The wedding started 45 minutes late (the bride was late), which is to be expected, but is nonetheless nerve-wracking for everyone. I thought my sermon was fine and the ceremony was relatively smooth. Every wedding I do, I get better at it. The difference is subtle things, but it makes a difference. For instance, we didn't have enough chairs out. We should have anticipated that we would have 215+ people! Also, I found it difficult to manage both the leaflet and my BAS. Next time I'll photocopy those out and put them with my leaflet in the little binder I use in the service. There were other details, as well, but its the sort of stuff that makes more of a difference to the Presider and not anyone else.
The reception was fun. Lots of caribbean food. But Betsy and I had to leave early--I've got to manage my energy and time going into Sunday morning.
-t
Monday, October 22, 2007
Wedding Photographers
We just had a wedding at COTM--not a couple I knew, though the groom was actually baptized here many years ago. He has since moved to Vancouver, where he lives with his (now) wife. A minister they know through the family did most of the service, and my role was mostly just to say a few prayers and work behind the scenes to help things flow smoothly. In that regard we were mostly successful except for two things.
The organist for the service (someone I had never heard of before, btw) arrived just in time for the service. And then half way through the service the Groom's mother snuck up to me to tell me that we would have to do the big solo early because the organist had to leave for another engagement! So I waited for an opportune time to interrupt the other minister and give the soloist a chance to do her thing. When she was finished, the organist took off to make the opera performance he was involved with. I must say that it was pretty unprofessional of this guy to double-book himself.
The other thing was that at the rehearsal the wedding photographers had been instructed not to use flash during the actual ceremony itself. One of them followed these directions and shot using a telephoto lens and no flash. He was able to do this perfectly fine (partly because he was using a very nice camera). But then the other photographer decided to use flash for some of his shots (and not for others). After the ceremony I asked him why he had violated his word, and at first he said he had never agreed to not use flash. Then he tried to tell me that you must use a flash in these light conditions, which I knew to be untrue given his camera (Canon D30), lens (L-series), and the both my experience of photographing in the church and, of course, the fact that he hadn't been using the flash for all of his shots, only some of them. He eventually apologized--and no doubt next time he will follow directions. But this is precisely the reason that wedding photographers have a poor reputation among the clergy!
My reaction to this was very strong. I was pissed off, and I'm aware that I was probably over-reacting. I was starting to feel very protective of my little church and the rites and rituals performed in it. I had been a perfectly accommodating host up to that point, but man it pissed me off when that guy willfully broke the only rule we had given him.
Sigh. Now I'm just doing a little work left over from St. Mary Magdalene's (their capital campaign flier, of course). Then I can go home and rake the leaves and make supper for Betsy and Anna. Then I'm looking forward to watching the Colts annihilate the Jaguars on Monday Night Football.
Tuesday will be busy. Staff meeting (we are moving them to Tuesdays) and then a Diocesan meeting in the evening. Lots of ongoing projects to address.
-t
The organist for the service (someone I had never heard of before, btw) arrived just in time for the service. And then half way through the service the Groom's mother snuck up to me to tell me that we would have to do the big solo early because the organist had to leave for another engagement! So I waited for an opportune time to interrupt the other minister and give the soloist a chance to do her thing. When she was finished, the organist took off to make the opera performance he was involved with. I must say that it was pretty unprofessional of this guy to double-book himself.
The other thing was that at the rehearsal the wedding photographers had been instructed not to use flash during the actual ceremony itself. One of them followed these directions and shot using a telephoto lens and no flash. He was able to do this perfectly fine (partly because he was using a very nice camera). But then the other photographer decided to use flash for some of his shots (and not for others). After the ceremony I asked him why he had violated his word, and at first he said he had never agreed to not use flash. Then he tried to tell me that you must use a flash in these light conditions, which I knew to be untrue given his camera (Canon D30), lens (L-series), and the both my experience of photographing in the church and, of course, the fact that he hadn't been using the flash for all of his shots, only some of them. He eventually apologized--and no doubt next time he will follow directions. But this is precisely the reason that wedding photographers have a poor reputation among the clergy!
My reaction to this was very strong. I was pissed off, and I'm aware that I was probably over-reacting. I was starting to feel very protective of my little church and the rites and rituals performed in it. I had been a perfectly accommodating host up to that point, but man it pissed me off when that guy willfully broke the only rule we had given him.
Sigh. Now I'm just doing a little work left over from St. Mary Magdalene's (their capital campaign flier, of course). Then I can go home and rake the leaves and make supper for Betsy and Anna. Then I'm looking forward to watching the Colts annihilate the Jaguars on Monday Night Football.
Tuesday will be busy. Staff meeting (we are moving them to Tuesdays) and then a Diocesan meeting in the evening. Lots of ongoing projects to address.
-t
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Another Thursday
This morning I met with a couple getting married here at the church on Monday. I'm assisting at the service, though their minister from home (Vancouver, in this case) will be doing most of the liturgy. It's a pretty straight forward wedding as these things go.
Our monthly Workplace Bible Study went well. It's always nice to get out of the office and get free sandwiches. I like sandwiches.
Today we got another generous gift towards the piano fund. We about 3/4 of the way to the full cost of a baby grand. Not bad considering we hardly did much fund raising! Amazing how people will give when they know where it's going. One of our next priorities will be the chairs. Our current chairs are in bad shape and tend to attack the people sitting in them. Here's a candidate for their replacement...
Comfy looking, heh? These are at The Church of St. Augustine of Canterbury up on Bayview and Eglinton. They were custom made, but still quite reasonably priced. St. Augustine's is quite progressive liturgically, and I can't wait to try some of the things that they have been doing for some time.
These days I still feel like I'm focusing way too much on putting out fires and keeping up with all the stuff that needs to be done rather than thinking strategically. When I came here I had grand ideas about doing leadership retreats and such. In reality it's hard enough just to get a group together for lunch! As it was, I did manage to get the Ministry Team together for a snacks at the Pour House for today's staff meeting. We did manage to plan ahead through Christmas on some matters.
Which brings up an interesting dilemma... Should we decorate the church for Christmas on Advent IV (Dec 23) between the Sunday morning service and the evening Lessons and Carols? Or the 24th (Christmas Eve) before the Pageant?
or the 22nd (Saturday before Advent IV)? Liturgically, the answer is obvious. but I'm told there have been HUGE fights in the parish in the past over this very question. So I'm deliberating on it. Probably going to be the 22nd or the 23rd. I just hate the idea of having Christmas Decorations up during the penitential and preparatory season of Advent! Sigh.
The new rug is gorgeous. We already have all kinds of ideas for how it can be used. but for the time being we are also very protective!
-t
Our monthly Workplace Bible Study went well. It's always nice to get out of the office and get free sandwiches. I like sandwiches.
Today we got another generous gift towards the piano fund. We about 3/4 of the way to the full cost of a baby grand. Not bad considering we hardly did much fund raising! Amazing how people will give when they know where it's going. One of our next priorities will be the chairs. Our current chairs are in bad shape and tend to attack the people sitting in them. Here's a candidate for their replacement...
Comfy looking, heh? These are at The Church of St. Augustine of Canterbury up on Bayview and Eglinton. They were custom made, but still quite reasonably priced. St. Augustine's is quite progressive liturgically, and I can't wait to try some of the things that they have been doing for some time.
These days I still feel like I'm focusing way too much on putting out fires and keeping up with all the stuff that needs to be done rather than thinking strategically. When I came here I had grand ideas about doing leadership retreats and such. In reality it's hard enough just to get a group together for lunch! As it was, I did manage to get the Ministry Team together for a snacks at the Pour House for today's staff meeting. We did manage to plan ahead through Christmas on some matters.
Which brings up an interesting dilemma... Should we decorate the church for Christmas on Advent IV (Dec 23) between the Sunday morning service and the evening Lessons and Carols? Or the 24th (Christmas Eve) before the Pageant?
or the 22nd (Saturday before Advent IV)? Liturgically, the answer is obvious. but I'm told there have been HUGE fights in the parish in the past over this very question. So I'm deliberating on it. Probably going to be the 22nd or the 23rd. I just hate the idea of having Christmas Decorations up during the penitential and preparatory season of Advent! Sigh.
The new rug is gorgeous. We already have all kinds of ideas for how it can be used. but for the time being we are also very protective!
-t
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Quick Note
Just a quick note. Big day tomorrow.
Today was Dawn and Gord's wedding at COTM--my first service in the church. Things seemed to go well, and people were especially impressed/pleased with the sermon. I think it's auspicious that my first service at the new church was a wedding. Funny that the more time I spend there the longer the list of things that needs to be addressed becomes. The AC units, for example, were dipping water like crazy onto the wall-mounted speakers and the floors and such. So between the wedding and the reception I climbed a ladder with Dave B.'s help and put a trash bag over the speaker to prevent more damage. Obviously, we'll have to have the AC people in ASAP to fix the problem.
I also managed to spill a little of the communion wine on the corporal and altar cloth. Thankfully, I had my hand on the base of the chalice (thanks to Harold's training) and that prevented a bigger spill. I wonder in general, though, if we should switch to white wine (less wear and tear on the linens to get out). It also tastes like "real" wine rather than this sweet stuff that has become fashionable in Anglican/Episcopal circles.
I'm trying not to make any more changes than I absolutely have to in the normal Sunday routine in the next few weeks, so the wine thing can wait, obviously. But I'm a little more bothered by the fact that they commonly put consecrated elements (bread and wine) in a simple cupboard or out on the credence table overnight or for days at a time. Interesting that it combines two different ideas about the Eucharist. On the one hand this practice seems to say that these elements retain their holiness after the service is over and ought to be put aside, marked, and reused. But they aren't giving the normal reverence given when working under that assumption. So at the very least I'm going to introduce a tabernacle/ambry in the sacristy to reserve the elements in the traditional way. I think the Diocese has a warehouse full of old church furnishings, and I can probably find an appropriate tabernacle for free. Otherwise, I think I could probably buy a suitable box here or there and repurpose it.
Yeah, I know, this sensitivity makes me seem high church--but actually on the spectrum of such things I would say this is more middle of the ground than high, per se. It would be interesting to do a survey of churches in the diocese to see what they do in this regard, but in the Diocese of CT I saw/visited MANY churches and rarely saw one without an ambry of some sort.
Anyway, it's another item on the list.
I'm very excited about tomorrow. I've got lots of ideas for the sermon and will have to pair it down the morning. As I was driving back from Oshawa around sunset I was listening to a particularly beautiful and dreamy piece by Tori Amos and thinking about my sermon and watching the sunset and just thought how clearly everything seems to be aligning in my life at this moment. I imagined myself in front of the congregation preaching passionately about our future together. I saw myself using some of my favorite stories and parables to convey what's important to me and what I have in mind. Perhaps I'll start with a paraphrase of the Flat Land story? It's a great way to talk about the work the Spirit in community.
-t
Today was Dawn and Gord's wedding at COTM--my first service in the church. Things seemed to go well, and people were especially impressed/pleased with the sermon. I think it's auspicious that my first service at the new church was a wedding. Funny that the more time I spend there the longer the list of things that needs to be addressed becomes. The AC units, for example, were dipping water like crazy onto the wall-mounted speakers and the floors and such. So between the wedding and the reception I climbed a ladder with Dave B.'s help and put a trash bag over the speaker to prevent more damage. Obviously, we'll have to have the AC people in ASAP to fix the problem.
I also managed to spill a little of the communion wine on the corporal and altar cloth. Thankfully, I had my hand on the base of the chalice (thanks to Harold's training) and that prevented a bigger spill. I wonder in general, though, if we should switch to white wine (less wear and tear on the linens to get out). It also tastes like "real" wine rather than this sweet stuff that has become fashionable in Anglican/Episcopal circles.
I'm trying not to make any more changes than I absolutely have to in the normal Sunday routine in the next few weeks, so the wine thing can wait, obviously. But I'm a little more bothered by the fact that they commonly put consecrated elements (bread and wine) in a simple cupboard or out on the credence table overnight or for days at a time. Interesting that it combines two different ideas about the Eucharist. On the one hand this practice seems to say that these elements retain their holiness after the service is over and ought to be put aside, marked, and reused. But they aren't giving the normal reverence given when working under that assumption. So at the very least I'm going to introduce a tabernacle/ambry in the sacristy to reserve the elements in the traditional way. I think the Diocese has a warehouse full of old church furnishings, and I can probably find an appropriate tabernacle for free. Otherwise, I think I could probably buy a suitable box here or there and repurpose it.
Yeah, I know, this sensitivity makes me seem high church--but actually on the spectrum of such things I would say this is more middle of the ground than high, per se. It would be interesting to do a survey of churches in the diocese to see what they do in this regard, but in the Diocese of CT I saw/visited MANY churches and rarely saw one without an ambry of some sort.
Anyway, it's another item on the list.
I'm very excited about tomorrow. I've got lots of ideas for the sermon and will have to pair it down the morning. As I was driving back from Oshawa around sunset I was listening to a particularly beautiful and dreamy piece by Tori Amos and thinking about my sermon and watching the sunset and just thought how clearly everything seems to be aligning in my life at this moment. I imagined myself in front of the congregation preaching passionately about our future together. I saw myself using some of my favorite stories and parables to convey what's important to me and what I have in mind. Perhaps I'll start with a paraphrase of the Flat Land story? It's a great way to talk about the work the Spirit in community.
-t
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