Sermon: Easter 7 2013 (Mother's Day)

These days my sermons are short and then followed by a period of reflection by the congregation. In this one I explored some of the issues around Mother's Day. I found the double image of freedom and release in the reading from Acts designated for the day (Acts 16.16-34) compelling. Partly inspired by the article "Why I Hated Mother's Day" (via Relevant Magazine) by Maria Gocke, along with this excellent, excellent sermon by Alyce M. McKenzie entitled "'M' is for the Many Things: A Sermon for Mother's Day", I tackled the ambiguous nature of Mother's Day head-on. Yes, mother's are great and deserve honour, but the way this festival is often promoted completely ignores and marginalizes people whose story doesn't look like something Normal Rockwell would have painted. It's tempting on a day like this to just go with the positive stuff, to talk about the "motherhood" of God, perhaps. Or maybe the Blessed Virgin Mary. Or the most important lessons I learned from my mother, etc. But a more honest (and rigorous) approach is to deal with the two sides of the issue and then shoot the gap between them.

Other influences on my preaching this morning included the Working Preacher website. I particularly liked this week's commentary on the Acts passage by Brian Peterson. I would like to tell you that I also read Feasting on the Word, but I didn't get around to it. I suppose I would have picked up FOTW if I hadn't already decided to go in the Mother's-Day-meets-Sunday direction. FOTW might have sharpened some of my tie-ins with the biblical material, but I had so much to work with already I didn't feel the need.

The other thing I would mention about my process this week would be the role of prayer. I was feeling very prayerful this morning as I thought about this sermon and then as I composed it. There was, as usual, the moment when all I had was thought about the passages and not even a glimmer of a sermon, yet. It's always terrifying to look at a blank screen or an empty piece of paper. So then I took a breath and prayed to the Holy Spirit, and she delivered as usual. The Holy Spirit has my homiletical back.

My practice is not to include the feedback time when I record these sermons. I want to respect people's privacy and maintain the very intimate, open, and trusting atmosphere of the forum time. Too bad, because much of the feedback today was excellent and highly engaging. Betsy, for example, pointed out that the founder of Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis, was distressed by how commercialized Mother's Day became even in her lifetime. Others pulled our time in other directions, including a heart felt reflection on the need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Great stuff. I loved the comment that one person made about how they studied the passages at home before Sunday! It's very hard to get that kind of engagement without having opportunities for feedback.

Massasauga!

A few weeks ago I decided to introduce Betsy and Henry to canoe camping. Betsy had a little experience camping, but nothing quite as rigorous as what I had in mind. My experience is not terribly broad, but does include a week-long epic trek in Algonquin a few years ago.

We first got our feet wet (figuratively, not literally, thankful) by borrowing a friend's sweet 1950's era Peterborough Canoe on Toronto Island. It's a sweet canoe: wood-and-canvas--tracks and handles beautifully. Smooth and much quieter than a fibreglass tub. We took it out for two trips with Henry. Paddling around in the quiet waters of the channels, Betsy in the bow and Henry napping between us, was like something out of a Victorian Romance. But my favourite memory was when we tied up under the shade of a tree and a three of us took a nap, gently rocking as the boats went in and out of the QCYC marina. This was an important proof of concept. It gave us confidence that Henry would do well in a canoe and not try to crawl out.
Betsy, Henry, and I at Toronto Island on a day trip.
Henry slept well under his improvised sun-shade

So I went ahead and planned a "real" trip. I chose Massasauga Park because it's close enough to Toronto that we could leave after church on a Sunday and get into a back-country campsite before sunset. I borrowed a friend's canoe--a tripping monster that has seen the watersheds of three oceans! We borrowed some other gear and bought a few things. (Many thanks to Dave and Keith for the loans.) Betsy's parents gave us a tent and some ground pads. Gear-wise, here are some recommendations for those of you thinking of camping with your little ones...

A Five Gallon Plastic Bucket
We used this from dirty diaper storage (and other trash, too). It's airtight and cheap and you don't have to worry about cross-contamination. Plus, it makes a very handy stool for sitting on. I found that it bit nicely in the space behind the stern seat of the canoe.

Platypus Gravityworks Water Filter
When I went on my trip to Algonquin our group used an MSR MiniWorks EX Water Filter. It screws onto a standard Nalgene bottle and then you hand-pump water through the ceramic filter to fill the bottle. It was a real chore, to be honest. But the Platypus Gravity fed system is pure awesomeness! You fill up the "dirty" bag with four litres of water and then let it drain through a filter cartridge into a "clean" bag. In about 2.5 minutes, presto, you have clean water! With this system it was easy to have more than enough water in camp our whole trip.

MSR DragonFly Stove
We borrowed one of these camp stoves from an experienced tripper-friend. This is far easier to cook on than an open-fire, and much kinder of the environment, too, when you think about the impact of gathering wood around well-used sites. It can deliver 8700 BTU, which will bring a litre of water to boil in less than four minutes! Coupled with one of these coffee makers, it made mornings far more civilized! Oh, and the flame can be turned down to a bare flicker, which means you could simmer as easy as kiss-my-hand.

Seal Pup Elite Knife
I've always found a multi-purpose camping knife to be handy gear on the trail, and this sweet knife got plenty of use preparing kindling, cutting food, opening wood bags, etc. It might not be essential gear, but it is surprisingly useful. For example, for dinner the first night we had campfire-grilled steak. The "camping" utensils we had were useless at cutting it. This bad boy carved through the meat like butter. It's extremely comfortable in the hand, and so sharp that I could shave off arm hair straight out of the box.

Child-Sized Sleeping Bag
One of our biggest questions heading out was how Henry would sleep in the tent. We were out for two-nights, and on both occasions he did quite well. He did move around a lot, which I suspect he does in bed at home, too. So even we started out with Betsy in the middle and Henry on one side, half way through the night Betsy and I would switch places to put me in the middle with Henry to my right. I'd leave my bag mostly unzipped so I could get to Henry and he could get to me. Sometimes he managed to sleep in or on this adorable sleeping bag. Other times, when it seemed especially cool, I simply pulled him in and spooned him for a few hours. He liked that. When he got too warm (he was wearing two layers just-in-case), he'd simply crawl away from me into the corner of the tent.

I brought along two maglight flashlights, storm-proof matches, a length of rope, a compass, and other odds and ends. One thing I forgot to bring in all my careful list-making and planning was toilet paper. Luckily I had brought along extra baby wipes, so they substituted just fine.

Just like at home, one person needs to watch the boy while the other does anything require concerted effort, like setting up camp or cooking. Henry was thrilled to find so many sticks to play with and new things to point at. "Mah? Mah?" he kept saying at each new thing, looking back at us to see if we saw the bird, or tree, or cliff, too.

We ate well. Here's the menu:

Day 1 - Supper
Steak
Potatoes a Gratin
A pre-made toddler meal (I think it was ravioli with red sauce)
A Tretra-Pak of red wine
Popcorn for dessert

Day 2 - Breakfast
Coffee
Mexican-style eggs (basically just scrambled eggs on tortillas with salsa and cheese)
Milk for Henry
Apples

Day 2 - Lunch
Beef tacos (with taco meat I made the day before we left)
Applesauce and other goodies for Henry

Day 2 - Supper
Pasta with meat sauce and cheese (using dehydrated beef I made a few days before)
Red wine
Milk and other goodies for Henry
Apples
Popcorn for dessert

Day 3 - Breakfast
Coffee
Oatmeal with brown sugar and milk for everyone
Apples

I was quite proud of my menu planning. Opening up the cheese in the morning and then using it up across three meal works quite well. So did pre-measuring the butter I would need and the coffee for each morning's brew. Probably the best meal was the first night. Few things in this planet can match the experience of eating campfire grilled steak with red wine after a few hours of paddling. Loons in the background and the most purple sunset you've even seen complete the picture.

Speaking of pictures, here are a few... the pictures from the trip!



By the third day Betsy, Henry, and I had really found our rhythm and felt as though we could easily have handled a longer trip. As we paddled back to the boat ramp at Pete's Place we felt strong and fast through the water. Henry spent part of that last paddle peaking over the gunwales and part of it sleeping on a blanket between dry packs and Betsy's seat. We got to Pete's place with plenty of time to spare, so we deliberately hung out in the middle of the lake taking pictures and messing around.

I grew up as a country kid, exploring the wheat fields and rail road tracks of Kansas. I have a lot of wander-lust in me, and getting out into the woods reminded me of that part of myself. I felt so alive, so in touch with myself and comfortable with the challenges in front of me. I'm really a different person in the field, and I had forgotten that. I like who I am when I'm preaching or presiding and I like who I am when I'm sailing, but this back-woods Tay that used to sleep on the chicken shed and walk for hours down a creak bed has rarely gotten to shine this last few years. I'm hoping that as Henry grows up I can introduce him to the pleasures of waking up with the previous-nights smoke still in your hair, or the satisfaction of building a fire from a small, still smouldering ash from that day-old blaze. I love the way my muscles ache after a long paddle or how my soft my sleeping bag can feel. It's even more rewarding to share these experiences with my family, which is one more pleasant surprise of fatherhood.

-t

Bath Time for Henry

Betsy and I both love giving our Henry a bath. We used to do this with a little plastic baby bathtub, but lately we've switched to using a full-size tub. In fact, I often take a bath with Henry, which is great fun. The little guy just loves the bubbles and toys we give him. Johnson's "Baby Bubble Bath & Wash" is awesome stuff. Works well on grownups, too! Tonight I even shaved in the tub while Henry played by my feet with some toys.

One of my favourite things to do is lie down in the the bath and put Henry on my chest, facing me. He likes to push up and arch his back so he can look around. Such a cuttie. Holding your baby like this makes it hard to think about anything else. It just makes everything right, you know?

Since we switched the full-sized tub he has a lot more room to move around and explore. Baths are lasting a lot longer.

After his bath Henry typically gets some skin lotion and then PJ's (with feet, of coure) and then milk and then bed. Sometimes he gets a story or I sing him Compline. Last night he slept for a whopping 12 hours! Go Henry!

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A Perfectly Obvious Observation

The pace of my life has significantly accelerated since Henry entered our lives. Months are simply flying by. My perspective of time is starting to shift. It feels like that trick in cinema where they pull the camera back and zoom in at the same time (known technically as a "Dolly Zoom"). Then I think about all the undone projects that have accumulated and I get really scared!

But, in truth, I'm having some very productive days and have the calendar to prove it. Next week, for instance, is going to be insanely busy. We are hosting a Music that Makes Community Conference at the church (regular blog readers will recall that Eric and I went to one of these in Atlanta about a year ago) next week. I'm looking forward to that, especially since I don't have to travel this time. I'm also doing ten other things that week. Over-committed? Definitely!

Naturally, Henry requires a lot of time. I'm finding that I'm having to get up earlier everyday just to make sure we get him to daycare and me to work and Betsy to school at a reasonable time. I'm starting to think that I should take my showers at night to give myself some extra morning time. Amazing how many little things have to happen everyday for him--feeding, washing, cleaning, and playing. He loves to play. He needs to play. One of his favourite games right now is crawling to a piece of furniture and then pulling himself up to standing. He can manage to keep himself standing for a minute or two, and then will topple backwards with delight.

Funny how quickly our lives can change. I feel like a different person than I was a year ago. And yet I'm the same, too. Weird. Koan like.

-t

Betsy and Henry Playing

A moment from my life these days:



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Mommy Rhapsody

From the folks who brought you "Dad Life," it's the "Mommy Rhapsody"....



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Dad Life - The Video

The "Church on The Move" (yeah, they abbreviate it COTM) in Tusla, OK, created this hilarious rap video called "Dad Life." I identify so strongly with this video it hurts!



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House Husband

My parental leave started on Sunday afternoon after church. Of course, that didn't exactly mean that work stopped right away. I still had to move a bunch of stuff out of my office (my computer, some unfinished work files, etc.) to set up a home office for the summer. If I were a better person I would simply walk away, but I'm afraid that my to-do list is just a little too daunting! For example, if we are going to send out a fundraising appeal letter this summer, then I need to write it!

But the main work this summer is, naturally, taking care of little Henry. He's been a champ. His routine is a pretty simple 2 hour cycle. When he wakes up from his nap, he gets changed and fed. Then he's pretty alert and happy for a while. He likes to roll around on the floor or be held or play with blankie. Sometimes, if he seems bored, I'll put him in the "Circle of Neglect" (which is a bouncy chair thing with lots of activities that make noise and flash lights and things when he plays with them). Then after about two hours have elapsed he starts to get tired and a bit cranky. The naps that follow are typically about 20 minutes (though he sometimes has a longer nap in the afternoon) and everything starts again.

One of my concerns has been about how much I will actually be able to get done while taking care of Henry. So far... a surprising amount. The key is to use the 20 minute nap times efficiently to do the stuff that can't be done with him in hand. Taking a shower, for example. But then there are a lot of things that can be managed with one hand (the other holding the baby). And then there are lots of times when he is content to simply be near me while I'm paying attention to something else.

So far I've been able to get things done. I've taken him grocery shopping and to the liquor store and with me to meetings and lots other activities. No problem. To mow the lawn I simply strapped him to my chest with a Baby Bjorn and got to work.

He seems to be pretty happy with it. He enjoys new things and places. And random people occasionally want to get a close look at him.

So the first week of being a house husband has gone extremely well, thanks for asking!

-t

Baby Morality

Scientists at the Infant Cognition Center at Yale have been researching whether infants are born with a sense of right and wrong. Increasingly, the evidence seems to be that they do! Check out this demonstration of the testing method....

Man, that Square makes me so mad! Lol. I'd love to try this with Henry when he gets slightly older!

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In Praise of Cloth Diapers

Values, in our society, are demonstrated by purchasing decisions. What you buy shows who you are. No where is this more true, so far in my experience, than when it comes to products designed for children. Options abound around every aspect of child rearing, far more than those facing our parents.

We've already marked ourselves in a number of ways. We had a natural birth... at home. We exclusively breast feed. We get most of our vegetables through a local organic CSA. We avoid BPA. We are pro-vaccine and think pacifiers are fine (but Henry doesn't care for them, anyway). We own a car even though we live in a city with decent public trans. We often watch TV while we eat dinner.

Weird how our society has encoded all of these decision with meaning. People will argue fiercely over any of those. I mean, they will practically come to blows sometimes over the evils of BPA or the importance of not using a car unnecessarily.

On the list: diapers: cloth or disposable. Other websites list the pros and cons so I won't go through them here, except to say that we appreciate that cloth diapers are cheaper than disposable (even with a service washing them for us), more environmentally sound (though that's arguable), and they are easier on the baby's skin. There is something very satisfying about a big stack of rectangular, clean, white, soft cotton diapers. And so easy to use thanks the nylon shell that holds them in place. Life is good!

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Sears and Sears

Henry went through a crying spell this evening that lasted about three hours. Nothing we tried consoled him. Or, more accurately, something would seem to do the trick but then a few minutes later he would start crying again. We changed him, we fed him, we burped him. We tried walking around with him. We took off our shirts and his outfit to maximize the skin-on-skin contact. We gave him a bath. We tried it all. Then... in desperation... we read the directions. This is what you do when all else fails--you consult the manual.

Specifically, we pulled out our copy of The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears and his wife, Nurse Martha Sears. They raised eight kids and practiced pediatric medicine for thirty years. Their book is a classic of the baby-manual genre. Detailed yet not overwhelming, they advocate Attachment Parenting (the term itself was devised by Dr. Sears) and approach parents with a very soothing tone throughout the book. Footnote: Dr. Sears served as associate ward chief of the newborn nursery at Sick Kids Hospital here in Toronto for some years. Two of William and Martha's kids followed them into the practice, and one of them, Bob, is currently taking patients. He charges $165 for a 20-minute well baby visit and expects to be paid in full by his patients. Meaning, that if your insurance will cover the visit then you are going to have to seek reimbursement from them.

Anyway... Henry was upset and so Betsy and I took turns doing our best while the parent without the Mossling read through The Sears and Sears chapter on comforting a fussy baby. The possible causes for fussiness are legion. Could be something Betsy ate. Or he could have gas. Or perhaps his biorhythms have gotten out of whack. The list goes on, and so do the recommended ways to pacify the critter. Movement, touch, southing sounds, and sights are all suggested in detail. They talk about the "Colic Dance" which requires moving in four planes of motion at a rate of 60 beats per minute (roughly the same as a human heart rate). They suggest various ways to hold a fussy baby that may be helpful. They even recommend abdominal massage technique designed to relieve gas. But, at the end of the day, the concede that sometimes babies are just going to cry whatever you do, and so all you can do is let them know that you are there with them in the hurt.

Eventually Henry did calm down. Then he had a relaxed feed and I rocked him to sleep in the nursery before composing this note. Sigh. It's all part of the new way.

-t

120

I'll fight anyone who doesn't agree with me that Battlestar Galactica (I mean the 2004 edition) is one the finest television series of our time. Well written, superbly acted, and deeply insightful about leadership, military culture, and human drive for survival. It also had much more to say about theological matters than pretty much any TV series I have seen in a long time. The re-boot of BSG began with a two-part miniseries aired in 2003. After that, it began a convention run as a series that finally ended in 2009, though future movies set in the BSG world are still a very real possibility.

Anyway, the series kicked off with an episode entitled "33." It is the favourite of many of the actors, fans, and production team for good reason. The plot is relatively simple--the last humans have formed up into an armada of civilian ships and one "Battlestar." The Battlestar is a kind of combination aircraft (err.. space craft) carrier, battleship, and battlecruiser. They are running from a militarily superior force of artificial beings called the Cylon determined to wipe out all human life.

In this episode, the fleet "Jumps" with faster-than-light travel to a new location. The jumps are untrackable. Yet 33 minutes after each jump, the Cylons appear at the new location and attack the fleet. The fleet jumps away to a new location and, 33 minutes later, the Cylons appear and attack again. The episode starts the story after several days of this cat-and-mouse. Most of the fleet, especially the military-ops folks, are suffering from severe sleep deprivation. 33 Minutes isn't long enough to do much more than refuel, rearm, and get in a quick briefing before the next attack.

(Side note--besides consulting psychologists and medical doctors about the effects of sleep deprivation, some members of the cast actually went without sleep for several days to get an even deeper sense of what this scenario would be like in real life. It's a good anecdote about how seriously the cast took their roles in this series.)

Anyway, imagine having to fight or flee every 33 minutes? Scary.

These days, in our house, we are experiencing something similar. Every 120 minutes or so our little guy wakes up and needs to be fed and changed. It not exactly every 120 minutes, of course, but it's close. We have a little timer called an "Itzbeen" that helpful tracks how long it has been since he was last fed or had his diaper changed. And sometimes that timer will go beyond 120 minutes.... But even as it does you know it will be by much before he begins to fuss and smack his lips like the hungry little guy he is.

I'm lucky, most of the time at night I can sleep through this 2-hour cycle. Betsy is the one who bears the brunt of it, and I can see the effect. Of the two of us I was always the better one for day-time naps and night-time wakefulness, so this really isn't fair. Ah well.

Even now I can tell that it will soon be time to take our little Henry to his mother. The cycle continues....

-t

Home again

We're now home with Henry. There is a fire in the fireplace and cooking smells coming from the kitchen. Henry is still in his car-seat carrier deal from the trip--he seems to like it so there is no reason to take him out just yet. Betsy is playing with her iphone--returning messages and e-mails, no doubt.

Life feels very, very good. I feel extremely grateful to all the people that were praying for us and wishing us well. I'm also grateful to our midwives, doctors, and nurses for their excellent care. Particularly I want to mention Dr. Kingdom, a good Anglican (he goes to St. Paul's, Bloor Street), who was the OB on call that did Betsy's surgery. Super competent and attentive. He also wishes that midwifery care was better integrated into the medical system as it is in the UK and the US. In fact, his own children were delivered by midwife in the UK. He was the first one at the hospital to really take us seriously (initially the nurses at the time didn't properly understand the urgency that our midwife was trying to convey). But he knew what he was looking at and got her into the OR STAT.

We also were treated to some excellent nursing care. Francis, Wendy, and Sue were particularly patient with our late-night feedings and such.

And, of course, our midwives were great. Our primary midwife Tia has been great, and Marlene, our backup, was a wonderful and extremely helpful participant in the birth.

So, now we are just settling back into something like what our normal life will become!

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Birth Story Pre-Posting

Betsy gave birth to our son, William Henry Moss (we'll call him "Henry") on Saturday afternoon at 1:34 PM. He was 8lbs 6oz. of joy right from the get go. He was born at home, which was an awesome and beautiful experience, but then Betsy developed a rare and unforeseeable complication that required her to go into the hospital for surgery. The surgery was successful and hopefully she will be able to come home tomorrow (Tuesday). I've been with her and Henry in the hospital, but I'm just coming home to take a shower, nap and post this update.

Big thanks to everyone for their prayers and concern. It means a lot to us that so many people have been apart of this time in our lives. I'll be able to share more details and lessons learned and other blog-worthy tid-bits after we've had a chance to get our bearings again. Right now I'm just gonna go down for a nap!

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X-Stroller

Check out this concept for a new stroller. Yikes.

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Zac Sunderland Sails Home...

I mentioned a while back Zac Sunderland, the teen on a quest to become the youngest person ever to sail around the world singlehanded. He completed his journey, sailing into Marina Del Rey this morning after more than 400 days at sea. It's possible to make the trip faster, but Zac wasn't racing for a speed record, he wanted to meet people and explore countries along the way. Here's a short excerpt from his press conference.

I think his comment about teenagers being encouraged to do "difficult things," is good to heed. His mom says that a lot of people gave her grief about letting her boy take on such a dangerous task, but she point out that first, Zac an extremely experienced sailor, and second, life without risk is hardly worth living. There was a time when kids his age did all kinds of dangerous and exciting things. Romeo and Juliet were dead by his age! But I think another thing worth noting is the role of faith in this family. These are clearly religious people, as a few of their blog posts make clear. I think there is a relationship between having faith in something larger than ourselves and the ability to take risk.

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Zac's Big Adventure

Meet Zac Sunderland--a young man attempting to be the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo. He started his journey from the Marina del Rey in Los Angeles in mid June 2008, and is currently off the coast of Mexico hoping to arrive back at his home port in mid-July... more than a YEAR after he left it. He paid for his 27' sailboat himself, and managing to convince his parents to support his year off. He has managed to pick up some sponsors, but his parents have helped him pay for the rest.

Traveling around the world by sail is not an easy task, even in this day and age. Zac has had some major equipment failures more than once. He was almost crushed by a freighter. But perhaps the most harrowing situation was being pursued by pirates in the Indian Ocean. He called his father on the satphone and was calmly instructed to load the .357 magnum pistol he keeps aboard and be prepared to defend the boat. His father told the L.A. Times that he never imagined he would have to seriously prepare his then 16 year old to "shoot to kill." Luckily, the pirates gave up the pursuit, probably figuring that the small sailboat wasn't worth the effort.

Of course, it will surprise almost no one that Zac's family is heavy into sailing. He is the oldest of seven kids, and as a family they have logged more than 15,000 nautical miles as a family, including several open-ocean long cruises. Still, it takes some very special parents to allow their teenager to attempt this. I wonder if I would allow my kid to attempt this...

Zac has lost a lot of weight from days and days of grueling work and crappy, freeze dried food. But he is very close to achieving his goal, and I imagine that he will receive quite the reception when he arrives back in L.A.

You can read more about Zac and his adventures on his blog. Good for him!

-t

Random thoughts from a Thursday

Kind of an odd day. Slept in some. Still woke up with a sore shoulder. At work I attended to various tasks, but generally felt pretty unmotivated. By the time I headed home at 5:30 I was ready for the (short) day to be over.

The Fish House Punch turned out well--but will get better as the days go by. Slightly less lemon than the last time I made it, I think.

A friend wants me to preside at his wedding this summer. I'm pleased about this. It means going down to Virginia and catching up with some old college friends. Hard to believe I've been out of college for ten years!

On my mind: cloth diapers or disposable? They say in the first few weeks you can average more than 25 diaper changes a day! Yikes. Cloth options seem very attractive. Even with a service to do the washing they are still something like 40% cheaper than disposables. Modern cloth diapers are also much easier to use than the old fashioned style. Generally, you cloth diapers into a leak-proof nylon shell that keeps the absorbent cotton part snug with snaps or velcro. And, of course, there is no reason you can't still use disposables for trips, etc. The service picks up the soiled diapers and replaces them with a fresh set once a week. Hmm...

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Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Mainenance

Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values is a well known book by Robert Pirsig which is part travel journal, part philosophy book, part novel. It's really a meditation on lessons learned both in academia and on the back of a motorcycle. Well worth the read.

It comes up in my mind today because Stanley Fish referenced it in his latest blog entry. In it, Fish summarizes Pirsig's phenomenological approach:

Pirsig’s example is describing the parts of a motorcycle, an exercise that has no natural stopping point. But, he insists, no matter how much data the exercise heaped up, true comprehension would still not have been achieved, for the motorcycle “so described is almost impossible to understand unless you know how it works.” Rather than building up from particulars to generals (the empiricist method), you must begin with generals — with an in-place, intuitive awareness of what motorcycles are for, of what can go wrong with them, of what can go right with them — and within that tacit knowledge you will know where to direct your analytic attention. You can’t just begin with analytic attention, with “mere” or “pure” observation, and expect to get anywhere; you must already, in a sense, be there.

The problem is that once the parts or facts are made to appear, they seem to possess an independence, and it is (literally) tempting to rest in them and to believe that they are the foundation of things. (In theology this mistake is called idolatry.) “The division of the world into parts,” says Pirsig, “is something everyone does,” but in doing it, “something is always killed” — and what is killed is an awareness of and contact with the world before analytic thought has done its (necessarily) reductive work. (source)

The paradox is that a phenomenological approach, where we begin with what can be grasped will necessarily limit us to what we are able to pay attention to. Inevitably, we will focus on the wrong things. In maintenance terms, when you have a problem you tend to want to make it into a problem you have experience with in the past, even though it may be an entirely new malfunction. Trying to solve this paradox drove Prisig nearly insane.

In Matthew Crawford's recent book Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry into the Value of Work also uses mechanical labour as a way to explore grand themes of both philosophy and father-son dynamics.

In time, this realization leads him to a position like Pirsig’s, but he holds it polemically and without anxiety: “To regard universal knowledge as the whole of knowledge is to take no account of embodiment and purposiveness.” We should not, he says, “separate knowing from doing,” and it makes sense that his model of the true “knowledge worker” is not his father the theoretician, but the mechanic or craftsman whose knowledge resides in his hands and in his hands-on experience.

It follows then that the modern tendency to move further and further from the site of physical labor (by, for example, designing automobiles on a computer or teaching people to fly in a simulated cockpit) is disastrously wrong. As computer diagnosis takes the place of fiddling around with the machinery, “we have too few occasions to do anything because of a certain predetermination of things from afar.” (source)

Again, a worthwhile read--especially as regards the nature of work and craftsmanship. Though he can be a bit polemical at times.

But we shouldn't loose sight of one of the other main points of these books: relationships between father and son mediated through metal. It's a trope so common as to almost slip into cliché. (Here is a picture of Prisig with his son, Chris, on the trip that became the basis for the book.) Yet I know a lot of men who bonded with their fathers in precisely this way. Indeed, the time spent with my father working on his old TR-3 are a very special memory to me. Other examples abound: a writer helps his son assemble a Shelby Cobra kit as a reward for good grades. A university professor learns to find joy in work again when he reconnects with his motorcycle mechanic father.

It's a form of benign triangulation--introducing a third party into a relationship between two tends to stabilize the emotional system and lower the anxiety in the system. (Cf. Friedman) Other father-son relationships might use sports in the same way. Really, any hobby can function to facilitate the father-son bond.

I don't know how this plays out in mother-daughter relationships. I suspect it is similar, but I've obviously never observed it from the inside. Maybe someone will comment about that.

This is on my mind for obvious reasons. Father's day approaches. And I've been thinking of what kind of father I will be by the time it comes again next year. Obviously, I hope to be a good one, but how does one go about becoming "good" at a thing like parenting without trial-and-error experience? Perhaps for this reason we should just start saving up for therapy now (advice someone gave me on Sunday), and focus instead on the second or third child. By then we may have learned something about the craft of parenting!

-t

A Little Surprise for the World...

Yep... This means what you all think it means...

The Mossling is due Dec. 14th. Mom and baby are doing great!

-t