Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Marriage Prep

I just finished doing a marriage prep session with a couple that live in the neighborhood. The actual wedding is being done by another priest out east, but it made sense for them to do the prep here.

Every priest does this differently, and my own style seems to change a lot based on the couple. For instance, sometimes it feels more like couple counseling and we really dig up deep stuff. Other times it's more like a class where I'm giving them "homework" like personality tests and essays about the spirituality of marriage to read.

I notice that a lot of priests seem to approach marriage prep as essentially a psychological issue. They want to explore issues around compatibility and behavior and so forth. Others treat marriage as a liturgical problem, and focus too much on ushering couples through the planning of the ceremony. Me, I like to cover a broad range of stuff and see what resonates with the couple. Ultimately, I'm just there to facilitate a process that is ongoing and will continue long past my brief involvement.

Another thing worth noticing: the couples I've met with are usually very enthusiastic about doing the marriage prep. They take it seriously and believe me when I tell them that studies show that good marriage prep is a significant factor in people staying together.

-t

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