Ikea

Today I spent some time moving the chairs in the church around into their Lent configuration. After that I went to Ikea to buy a coffee table for my office. Ikea is just this side of a cult, IMHO. Someone should do a paper on the theology of Ikea. You just know everything there must have been designed on Macs.

I'll post something longer tomorrow. Right now I'm a bit tired. This morning when I decided to sleep in, I realized that I have been under a tremendous amount of stress at work and that I need to dial my engagement back a smidgen--God knows there already enough dysfunctional/codependent priests out there.

BTW, I just saw the movie "Breach." There is a nice long shot the interior of Church of the Redeemer (COTM's mother parish). It only took me about two seconds to recognize it, despite the set dressing!

-t

Desk Clearing

Wow, my desk is now clearer than it has been in a long, long time--however there is still a four-inch pile of non-urgent things I'm supposed to read. Amazing how when you are a Rector people are always asking you to read things. I've gotten good about not accepting entire books if I can help it, but I still get the usual newsletters and reports and "updates" from various organizations and individuals. It's important to stay informed about all these people and individuals connected to the church, so I can't simply skip it. Still, I'm pleased that my office and desk are looking more and more organized.

My experiment with singing the Offices by myself is continuing to go well. It really does change the feeling of the rite. It makes it much more prayerful for me--probably because it's much more embodied. I'm also saying in the church rather than at my desk--again, embodying the prayer seems to be key in my case.

I've been asked to write an article about my experiences at the Leadership Conference. I'm thrilled that have opportunity, and I'm glad that I took lots of notes! Considering that both of my sisters get their stuff published all the time, it's about time that I catch up!

Fridays are Finance Day at COTM. This morning we made progress on a number of fronts having to do with the 2007 books being prepared for the Annual Vestry. The bottom line numbers are encouraging, but it's still going to take a lot of work to sort out the details of how to organize the financial activity for reporting it to the congregation. The instability in clerical leadership over the last 2 years or so has a lot to with challenge. Yet there is something really nice about having a fresh start!

-t

Prayer of the Week - Lent 1

For sometime now I've been sending a weekly e-mail to my parishioners with a "Prayer of the Week." This was something that began before I came to COTM, and it simply seemed very natural for me to pick it up and continue it. I've decided from now on I should post the Prayer of the Week here, as well as e-mailing to the COTM list.

Beloved Parishioners,

Coming into this Lent the poet Mary Oliver has been on my mind. She has a remarkable capacity to read what medieval theologians called the "Book of Nature." The idea was that God was the author of two divine volumes: The Book of God (The Bible) and the Book of Nature. Any reasonable person, with the right set of tools, could "read" in either the Holy Gospel of God's creation and redemption of humanity.

Here's one of Mary's poems that I think is particularly appropriate for the beginning of the penitential season of Lent...

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

At first blush this poem may seem to be eschewing traditional Christian notions about the importance of striving to live a moral life and repenting when we fail. A deeper reading, however, may speak to a moment beyond the striving. Many of the great spiritual masters of our faith spoke of the growth of the Christian life as proceeding by stages from purgation to illumination and finally towards union with the Divine (put another way, from morality to wisdom to love). In this view, repentance and amendment of life is only the beginning of the Christian journey. This is important to keep in mind even as we explore the dark depths of Lent. It's far too easy to reduce Christianity to a mere set of ethical teachings about being good to other people (indeed, this is perhaps the most common heresy about Christianity, that's it's only about being "good" and that Jesus was just an inspired "teacher"). If we believe the Gospel or heed the harsh cry of the wild geese, then our place in the family of things is much more profound--something about redemption and life everlasting.

I believe that at its best the experience of contrition and forgiveness can offer us a glimpse of what the Gospel is all about. Certainly in my own life, I have been shocked at the kind of transformation that has taken place when I've had the courage to admit wrongdoing and seek reconciliation. Something profoundly transformative happens when grace squeezes into the cracks that formerly separated us. We do well to meditate on our memories of this dynamic and to examine whether our lives would be enriched by present acts of confession.

Therefore my prayer this week is an encouragement to seek reconciliation not merely in order to be "good"--but so that we may have the full and eternal life promised to us in Jesus Christ.

Almighty God, you hate nothing that you have made and work continually to bring us back to union with you, we humbly ask this day that your Holy Spirit would inspire our hearts with the courage and patience to be humble and penitent in the face of our many failings. We know through your Holy Gospel that you are eager to forgive us our sins and restore us to new life. Help us to make true confession to you who know all and love all, through Jesus Christ, Our Lord. Amen.

In Christ,

Tay

Your One and Precious Life

Here's a poem by Mary Oliver:

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean--
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down--
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

This seems relevant to Lent, somehow....

-t

Mr. Tay's Breakthrough in Holographics

Apparently I just published an article in the journal Nature about a breakthrough in Holography!

-t

Ash Wednesday Sermon

This is my sermon from Ash Wednesday. The recording quality isn't great, but I was pleased with how the sermon itself turned out....



-t

Ash Wednesday

Last night I had a strange dream. I was observing a two-cell prison floating on a lake. There was a guard on this floating prison. Suddenly, the whole thing sank and me with it. Now I was the guard, and I watched as the prison swirled downward in some kind of vortex. Many books and objects were swirling in the descent. I had the sense that I needed to swim deep, to follow the prison and the books and the other things as they went deeper, even if it meant that I would drown. As I twisted around in the dark, cold water, I became aware that I had already gone too deep to return to the surface before drowning. There was a moment of calm acceptance as I watched some bubbles float past me. Then my mind took me out of that dream and into another. It seems like a great metaphor to explore in a sermon, and I may use it Sunday, but it seemed too self-indulgent to use it this evening.

Today I went by the Anglican Book Centre to buy some worship stuff. Mostly I got some more hymnals from around the Communion, but I also bought some incense charcoal for the Wednesday Contemplative Eucharists, a clerical collar, extra palm ash (in case our small supply ran out), and a few other odds and ends. But the purchase that pleased me most was two very nice (reproduction) icons. I hung the one of the Trinity (no, not a copy of Rublev's) in my office and one of the crucifixion (with Mary and John, naturally) in my new "Vestry." This way I have something to meditate on while I put on my vestments. It's hard to have too many icons. If are even at a loss of what to buy an Anglican priest for a gift, go with either scotch or icons.

The Ash Wednesday supper and Eucharist went extremely well. The turnout was great despite the weather, and the liturgy itself went incredibly well. There was an abiding prayerfulness and dignity to the whole thing that was just amazing. The musical choices Matthew and I worked out had a lot to do with that, but I think every other factor in the liturgy worked, as well. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a chance to post an audio clip of the sermon I gave. The choir also did an incredible job with a version of the Advent Prose we took from the St. Greg's music book. Yes, I know it's slightly unorthodox to use the Advent Prose in Lent, but I tell you that the music and the text are just too perfect a fit to pass up!

Tonight I'm tired and proud of my church for doing worship well. We have such a good thing going here that I can't wait to see it flourish.

Here's wishing you a Holy Lent!

-t

Confrontation

Most priests suck at confrontation--it's simply not a part of our nature to argue with people unless we are really backed into a corner. But lately I've been told of a situation that requires pastoral intervention, and thus I have to act. It's very unpleasant, but then I recall the time in which I have been confronted for bad behavior and the ways in which that sometimes led to very good growth. Confrontation is one of those things that you do a lot of in the CPE training I did. Our group would sit around a few times a week for months and every once in a while someone would have a beef with someone else and we'd fight in the healthiest way possible! Sometimes it felt a little artificial, sometimes it was incredibly authentic and many tears were shed. The thing about confrontation is that when it's handled well it really can be graceful. Far beyond merely correcting behavior, confrontation done in a spirit of love can call a person into a richer life. So I'm gearing up for this encounter, though in truth there isn't much to prepare. It's all about the encounter and the moment. Prayer helps, though.

Sunday was weird. I made a couple of mistakes that made me feel stupid. It's good to make those kind, though, because it keeps you liturgically humble. In my case I didn't break anything of hurt anyone, so it's all just worship after that. I'll post the children's sermon when I get a chance, but today has been busy.

Tradcom went very well--we had a dozen people. My homily came to me easily and the liturgy was smooth. The BCP Communion service still grates me sometimes, but I'm happy that others are fed by it.

I'm on to say a second Mass today--Dana Fisher invited me to be one of her regulars at the Trinity Chapel. I consider it quite an honor, actually, to celebrate the Holy Eucharist in a seminary chapel. I remember when I got to celebrate Eucharist at the Berkeley Divinity School chapel with great affection. It's also luxurious to lead worship in someone else's church! It's like being a grandparent, all the love and none of the responsibility.

Here's one of Dave Walker's cartoons to amuse you. The man has deep wisdom...


-t

Perfection

Sunday morning started off weird--I made a couple of dumb mistakes--nothing important, just enough to keep me humble. For instance, I was reciting the Gospel lesson from memory, but then got a little flummoxed on the last line! Arrg! Then I managed to dent a silver patten during the offertory. Again, not a big deal, silver is soft and can be easily reshaped, but I felt like an idiot for about 15 seconds. Then I took a breath and remembered that our worship is always imperfect, and that the grace happens when the priest can lift it up anyway.

After the service, a person I have been getting to know gave me a precious gift of some insight into her soul. It was a nice moment that made me very grateful to God--the sort of thing that keeps you going in Pastoral Ministry. So after that I was in a great mood. It's funny how fickle a pastor's self-confidence can be--which is why you should never, ever make your pastoral ministry dependent on how good you feel! Of course, that's easier said than done. Detachment is perhaps one of the most important of spiritual virtues to develop for the sake of ministry.

In the afternoon/evening we had a little Super Bowl Party--that went well except that my team, the Patriots, lost. I can still hardly believe it. So much for perfection. I guess like worship, football is imperfect.

-t

Architecture

Last week I had a friend of mine who is also an architect come by to give me an informal consult about the church. The further along I go with developing plans for replacing the chairs and repainting the interior, etc., the more aware I become that I'm a bit out of my depth when it comes to things like choosing chairs or picking color schemes.

Looking at the space, she said that she could see what the architects who did the 1976 reconstruction (after the fire) were trying to accomplish and also how their plans didn't always work. She said that the challenge was to go with less, not more. Looking around, it's hard to easily identify the elements that could be removed. For example, the vertical columns near the storage closets don't "work" from an aesthetic point of view, but were obviously necessary to support the weight of the daycare above.

So she's going away to think about it some more and come back to me the outline of a proposal. Once I have that in hand I can begin to bundle the pieces together to make a physical plant renewal plan and start raising money.

Speaking of church architecture, I've decided to go back to the collegiate-style (aka choir style) seating arrangement for Lent. It simply does the work of liturgy (worship and transformation) better than the common layout usually used here.

-t

Linda Nichol's Ordination

That picture is from Linda Nichol's ordination as Bishop at the Cathedral this morning. It was fun, as usual, to gather with my colleagues. These kind of events with hundreds of clergy can't help feeling a bit triumphalist, though! Anyway, it was a nice service and I was glad to seem many friends in one place.

-t

A Snow Day

It's snowing like crazy today, so I cancelled my two appointments and took it as a snow day. Driving half way across town to Hallie's for my voice lesson just isn't a good idea in these conditions! Too bad, I have some new directions to take our lessons.

Yesterday I ran into the Cantor from St. Mary Mag's on Bloor Street near St. Paul's. He told me that SMM is very happy with their new sound system. He says that they can actually hear the sermons now. I'm glad to hear that. I always thought investing in that sound system would add a lot. They just need a couple a people who are really crazy about new media to continue developing content for the website--media production is a great way for Anglo Catholic Parishes to evangelize using the beautiful stuff they already have.

Speaking of websites and new media,check it out...



I'm in print! Pretty cool, heh?

-t