Here is my "Charge to Vestry" from this year's annual meeting of the church. I was excited to talk about my ideas for the future of the parish, but was far sloppier here in my presentation than I had intended. The fact that I hadn't slept the night before at all probably had something to do with that, but still the ideas were there even the articulation was not! Actually, my thinking was that I wasn't really out to carefully argue the point, anyway, but to present the idea and convey my passion for it--and I think I did those things very well.
-t
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Annual Vestry: 2013
The Annual Vestry meeting of the church is equivalent to the Annual General Meeting of most Canadian non-profit organizations. The authority for most decisions (including, critically, the budget/expenditures) actually belongs to the gathering of all voting members of the church (known as the "Vestry"). Of course, it would be extremely inconvenient to convene Vestry every week--so they grant the authority to spend money to the Wardens by approving the budget. There is lots of other business to do and discuss, as well, and it is a time for the church to take stock and layout priorities and plans for the next year.
Perhaps these means that this is religion at its most organized, and I know that is unfashionable. But on the other hand it means that our process of governing ourselves, in the Anglican Church, is consultative and participatory. It may be the case that I strongly suggested a direction I think we should head, but if the people don't agree that have an easy way to reign me in! Church's are not dictatorships!
So her is a copy of the Annual Vestry Report. You can see that I make an effort to make it look somewhat attractive and readable by laying it out in InDesign and adding some pictures. If I had more time or a design-gifted volunteer I could have made it even more beautiful, but it's better than 80% of the Vestry Reports I've seen, and that's a start!
Perhaps these means that this is religion at its most organized, and I know that is unfashionable. But on the other hand it means that our process of governing ourselves, in the Anglican Church, is consultative and participatory. It may be the case that I strongly suggested a direction I think we should head, but if the people don't agree that have an easy way to reign me in! Church's are not dictatorships!
So her is a copy of the Annual Vestry Report. You can see that I make an effort to make it look somewhat attractive and readable by laying it out in InDesign and adding some pictures. If I had more time or a design-gifted volunteer I could have made it even more beautiful, but it's better than 80% of the Vestry Reports I've seen, and that's a start!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
The Messiah Website Relaunch
The last few weeks have been a time of heightened productivity for me. Lent has always been a good time for me to knock through a bunch of projects, and part of that comes the place it occupies in the church year: things have settled in after the fall (when people come back to more frequent attendance), and the congregation has gotten through Christmas. By the time Lent comes around you, as the Rector or Pastor, know pretty well who you've got and what they are capable of. Also, you see the spring unfolding before you are realize that summer will be here before you know it, and advancing projects then will be difficult.
So.... for a long time I've wanted to re-do my church's website. The original website, while not bad, was "hard-coded" in HTML/CSS. That meant that in order to change the site, someone (me), had to manually edit each page or stylesheet. That wasn't a problem for me, I have Wordpress and know HTML well enough that I could easily make the pages do what I wanted, especially when I used Dreamweaver to do it. However, I quickly found the limitation to this approach: only I could change the site! So much for involving the people, let alone having another staff member do it, let alone delegating the various parts of the site to the people that might be passionate about them.
For several years the solution has been obvious. What I needed was a Content Management System (CMS)--preferably one that was open source and free. I considered Joomla for a time, but then Brian Bukowski (web manager at the Anglican Church of Canada) told me that I should look at Wordpress and I've been hooked ever since. It's dead-easy to install and customize, and there are tons of pre-designed "themes" available at all price points (including free). Modifying such themes is pretty easy, as well, as long you know HTML/CSS and a little PHP.
The problem, I found, was that my church's website was hosted by Bell, and their standard business webhosting package for medium-sized companies doesn't give you a database. In order to get that feature you have to upgrade to an exorbitant package. I asked a sales rep about purchases this service a la cart, and the price was similarly ridiculous given that most webhosting companies (like GoDaddy or iPage) throw that in with even their most basic plans. In general, Bell's webhosting sucks, anyway, with antiquated tools and interfaces. Even their webmail interface is terrible.
So I decided to switch the hosting over to iPage and I'm glad I did. I've used GoDaddy to set up websites in the past, and they are fine and very cheap. But I don't love the politics of their advertizing campaign (too sexist) and I've heard some rumblings around the web about some of their business practices. Ipage, on the other hand, had very good reviews on the web, and is said to be particularly good for non-US customers. I've been pleased with the results so far, and found the set-up to be straightforward. Like GoDaddy, iPage has a feature that allows you to automatically set up a WordPress installation on your site without having to upload the package and execute it manually.
After that I picked a theme. After spending a few hours looking at various themes--many of them developed especially for churches, I went with Epic Church by Organized Themes. Key features for me for this theme (and the others that made the final list) were these:
Some other themes I liked:
Once I had the theme installed I had to spend a few hours uploading content. In a few cases I was able to copy and paste some content developed for the old site, but most of the time I simply rewrote the copy to reflect our community's current situation. I have quite an archive of photographs, so I pulled out some new ones for the new site. I had to a little work in Photoshop in a few cases, but not much. Mainly that was just to get the photographs for the "slideshow" into the correct sizes. I created a macro in Photoshop to make batch-process files a snap.
I had to do a bit of troubleshooting to get a few features to work like I wanted, but it all did. So, presto, we have a new church website. I still have some features to implement and, of course, I'll need to add a lot more content. But at least we now have a workable platform. Now I can create separate logins to allow various members of the church to add content. They can even do so using apps on their smart phones!
You can check out the current site and see how it's coming along. Of course, if you are reading this sometime in the future, than the site will likely have gone through yet another face lift!
So.... for a long time I've wanted to re-do my church's website. The original website, while not bad, was "hard-coded" in HTML/CSS. That meant that in order to change the site, someone (me), had to manually edit each page or stylesheet. That wasn't a problem for me, I have Wordpress and know HTML well enough that I could easily make the pages do what I wanted, especially when I used Dreamweaver to do it. However, I quickly found the limitation to this approach: only I could change the site! So much for involving the people, let alone having another staff member do it, let alone delegating the various parts of the site to the people that might be passionate about them.
For several years the solution has been obvious. What I needed was a Content Management System (CMS)--preferably one that was open source and free. I considered Joomla for a time, but then Brian Bukowski (web manager at the Anglican Church of Canada) told me that I should look at Wordpress and I've been hooked ever since. It's dead-easy to install and customize, and there are tons of pre-designed "themes" available at all price points (including free). Modifying such themes is pretty easy, as well, as long you know HTML/CSS and a little PHP.
The problem, I found, was that my church's website was hosted by Bell, and their standard business webhosting package for medium-sized companies doesn't give you a database. In order to get that feature you have to upgrade to an exorbitant package. I asked a sales rep about purchases this service a la cart, and the price was similarly ridiculous given that most webhosting companies (like GoDaddy or iPage) throw that in with even their most basic plans. In general, Bell's webhosting sucks, anyway, with antiquated tools and interfaces. Even their webmail interface is terrible.
So I decided to switch the hosting over to iPage and I'm glad I did. I've used GoDaddy to set up websites in the past, and they are fine and very cheap. But I don't love the politics of their advertizing campaign (too sexist) and I've heard some rumblings around the web about some of their business practices. Ipage, on the other hand, had very good reviews on the web, and is said to be particularly good for non-US customers. I've been pleased with the results so far, and found the set-up to be straightforward. Like GoDaddy, iPage has a feature that allows you to automatically set up a WordPress installation on your site without having to upload the package and execute it manually.
After that I picked a theme. After spending a few hours looking at various themes--many of them developed especially for churches, I went with Epic Church by Organized Themes. Key features for me for this theme (and the others that made the final list) were these:
- Responsive design: it must display beautifully on any screen (desktops, smart phones, tablets, etc.)
- Built-in podcasting: it must have a sermon-media management tool
- E-mail newsletter support: it must have a way for people to subscribe to the parish newsletter
- Social media integration: it must have a way for people to like or share almost anything
Some other themes I liked:
Once I had the theme installed I had to spend a few hours uploading content. In a few cases I was able to copy and paste some content developed for the old site, but most of the time I simply rewrote the copy to reflect our community's current situation. I have quite an archive of photographs, so I pulled out some new ones for the new site. I had to a little work in Photoshop in a few cases, but not much. Mainly that was just to get the photographs for the "slideshow" into the correct sizes. I created a macro in Photoshop to make batch-process files a snap.
I had to do a bit of troubleshooting to get a few features to work like I wanted, but it all did. So, presto, we have a new church website. I still have some features to implement and, of course, I'll need to add a lot more content. But at least we now have a workable platform. Now I can create separate logins to allow various members of the church to add content. They can even do so using apps on their smart phones!
 |
| The old Messiah site |
 |
| The new Messiah site |
Friday, February 22, 2013
Rector's Charge To Vestry: 2012
I never got around to posting last year's charge to Vestry, which is too bad, because I rather liked it. Reading it again took me right back to that very difficult year, 2011. Here it is...
-t
-t
Dear Beloved Parishioners and Friends of COTM,
There is a whole pile of books written for wannabe CEO’s with titles like, “12 Keys to Successful Leadership,” and “Leadership Made Easy.” In my experience, these books generally say everything that anyone with common sense would learn long before they were put in a position of even modest responsibility (or, so we hope). A good example is the sage wisdom that good leaders, “leave the dance floor from time-to-time to get the balcony view.” One imagines an elegant waltz with the orderly swirling beautiful dresses: neat geometric patterns folding and unfolding under a the protective paternal eye. Would that it were so easy!
In truth, my experience is more like a square dance where the band is high on Crystal Meth and the calls are in a heavily accented Burmese dialect no one at the dance can understand. Frenetically we go from one partner to the next, staying with one just long enough to get some kind of synch before being tossed off to the next.
Church land, these days, is full of leaders who not only don’t know the steps of the crazy dance we call “parish leadership,” but can’t even figure out what the time signature is. So most of us (me, my colleagues, our Bishops, too) are simply improvising as best we can–stumbling and lurching as we go. The old ways simply won’t hold: everybody knows the tune is changing.
The wise ones say that new patterns will make themselves known–after all even a mosh pit has boundaries. “Follow the Holy Spirit,” they say, “Look for the Spirit’s work.” “Make a fresh wineskin.”
“How on earth do we do that?”–the question has been preoccupying me for some time.
Maybe we start by trying to stop. Is it possible to carve out some islands of stillness on the swirling dance floor of life? Can we find our centre of gravity and take a breath? Just one breath?
This past year has been incredibly challenging for me. After the heartbreak of the collapse of what had been a wonderful partnership with Eric (our former Minister of Music), I had to go through some wilderness wandering. I had to rediscover and reconstruct what I believe to be true about music and worship in the church. It was not an easy process, but it was a necessary one–for me and for the parish. We quickly discovered that leaflets are good and that leading hymns is hard.
With very limited administrative support, I had figure out what was essential about that, too. Some days the essential thing is unclogging a toilet. Other days it’s ordering cleaning supplies or scheduling space-bookings. At one point I prayed in frustration, “I’d like to get back to being a priest.” In response to that prayer I found myself having to clean up a particularly nasty mess left by a parishioner, which reminded me right quick what God thinks of “being a priest.” “Being a priest” is about creating a safe space for people and teaching them about Jesus, and sometimes that means changing light bulbs and cleaning up messes and filling out paperwork. Get over it.
I found some solace in Theological Interns. Poor Nancy, one time we spent a whole hour talking about how to move in worship. “This is essential,” I told her, “To master worship you have to learn to move like ninja ghost walker tea ceremony priest.” It was wonderful to rediscover the fundamentals!
By the time the summer came I was very nearly burned out. I made the most of my vacation, visiting family in the States, but quickly found my self back in the dance at Messiah. Things didn’t really turn around until the Labour Day weekend.
When I was a kid I spent a lot of time in the woods. I was a country boy who took naps on the chicken shed and was a crackshot with a BB Gun. I spent hours and hours exploring the wheat fields around my childhood home in Kansas, and I think I’ve missed that wildness. So I decided, somewhat abruptly, to take Betsy and Henry on a canoe camping trip. After a great deal of preparation (including weathering the concerned expressions of people who thought we were nuts to take an 18-month-old on a serious camping trip), we strapped a friend’s canoe to our car and headed for the woods. One of the blessings of this fine country is that you can go from a Sunday morning worship service to a remote campsite (by canoe!) before nightfall.
It was amazing. As soon as we settled down into camp for the first night I knew I was tapping into something very deep and essential. A solid of core of mystical juju that had been temporarily obscured by the orbiting dust of fleeting concerns. I breathed easy.
As Henry slept in the tent and Betsy and I enjoyed wine by the fire, we talked about the church and about life and about what is true and essential. Two days later, as we paddled back to the boat ramp, Henry fell asleep on a pile of blankets in the bottom of the canoe. The craft felt light and the air was crisp and cool. Betsy and I settled into a fast, efficient stroke. We arrived so early that we ended up hovering a few hundred metres from shore letting the wind spin us in lazy arcs.
The Buddhists have a saying, “Before Enlightenment we fetch wood and carry water; after Enlightenment we fetch wood and carry water.” When we came back to Toronto there were still leaflets to write and musicians to hire and projects to manage. But it did feel lighter.
The grief for things left undone was just where I had left it. So to was the promise of things to come. There were chairs to arrange and reports to write. Planning. Coaching. Begging. Worrying. Praying. All of it was just where I had left it. But it was all a little different, too.
I have no idea what the steps are to this crazy dance, but I’m not sure it really matters. The point of dancing was never to make pleasing geometric patterns of swirling tulle. The point of dancing is to have fun. It’s about joy and about life.
Jesus didn’t come to this earth to give us a divinely inspired self-help book. Twelve easy steps to being a worthy person. Baloney! No one could live up to that, read the Old Testament if you don’t believe me. He came to give us Life, and that abundantly. Life is messy and clumsy and awkward and sometimes painful. There are “hellos” and “good-byes” and stinky messes. There is also beauty and truth and love and peace.
God is love. And we, God’s Church, are in the business of sharing that love. There is no other worthy criteria for success. Everything else–budgets and staffing and programmes and even worship–serves that mission. It is the essential thing.
So go ahead and dance your crazy dance. Flail your arms around like a spasmodic white boy at the Junior Prom. “Dance, dance, or we are all lost,” says the poet. Dance your grief away. Shake off your doubt with a shuffle and find your groove. Don’t just walk out of your deserts of temptation–dance out of them.
If you can’t find your step, give me your hand and I’ll pull you along. But for God’s sake, don’t sit out. Don’t hide behind the punch bowl and miss out, because God is playing our psalm!
150
1 Hallelujah! Praise God in his holy temple; praise him in the firmament of his power.
2 Praise him for his mighty acts;
praise him for his excellent greatness.
3 Praise him with the blast of the ram’s-horn;
praise him with lyre and harp.
4 Praise him with timbrel and dance;
praise him with strings and pipe.
5 Praise him with resounding cymbals;
praise him with loud-clanging cymbals.
6 Let everything that has breath *
praise the Lord. Hallelujah!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Dragonfly Racing: 2012 QCYC Open
This was a crazy, fun day of sailboat racing on Lake Ontario. The occasion was the Queen City Yacht Club's annual Open Regatta. We are racing "Dragonfly"--an Erikson 30-2. The winds were 25 knots and gusting higher, and we were working hard that day. I was the tactician, which is why you sometimes hear me in the video discussing the relative position of other boats ("they don't have overlap") or marks ("2 boat-lengths to the mark").
Notice a little boat (called a "Dragon") at 1:32? That boat sank not long after I took this video. The two guys on board were easily rescued by a powerboat belonging the race committee. It was an intense day, for sure!
-t
Notice a little boat (called a "Dragon") at 1:32? That boat sank not long after I took this video. The two guys on board were easily rescued by a powerboat belonging the race committee. It was an intense day, for sure!
-t
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Sermon: Amy and Justin's wedding
I love preaching (and Presiding, for that matter) at weddings. I was quite happy when our friends Justin and Amy asked me to do theirs last summer. Several of the people in attendance have known me for a long time through Betsy (Amy is a fellow PhD student), but had never seen me do my professional thing. One of Betsy's professors, who happens to be an observant Jew, was particularly surprised and impressed.
Justin just finished his Ph.D. in computer science specializing in the search problem, so the "hook" for this sermon seemed pretty obvious to me as soon as I started writing. The Onion article was the prefect way into that. A fun sermon to give, for sure!
-t
Justin just finished his Ph.D. in computer science specializing in the search problem, so the "hook" for this sermon seemed pretty obvious to me as soon as I started writing. The Onion article was the prefect way into that. A fun sermon to give, for sure!
-t
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Robbie Burns Dinner: 2013
Tim Harry, who the unofficial Diocesan Videographer and my partner in crime for bringing the Diocese into the Digital Media age, put together this little advertizement for this year's Robbie Burns Dinner at Church of The Messiah. These Dinners are held in honor of the Scottish poet Robbie Burns and celebrate Scottish culture and tradition. Really, for me, it's just a good reason to have a fun party. Because we have a Celtic Dance studio that rents space from the church, they provide most of the muscle to organize and run the event. This was the second time we've done it, and it was amazing to see how much easier it was.
Yes, we did serve haggis. The food (including the haggis) was amazing thanks to our friends at Vittorio's (who provided the catering). We've had a long relationship with that restaurant and use them to cater church events whenever we can.
Many thanks go to Meghan Bold, by the way, who did the brunt of making this dinner happy. She's a champ! Check out her Dance Studio here.
-t
Yes, we did serve haggis. The food (including the haggis) was amazing thanks to our friends at Vittorio's (who provided the catering). We've had a long relationship with that restaurant and use them to cater church events whenever we can.
Many thanks go to Meghan Bold, by the way, who did the brunt of making this dinner happy. She's a champ! Check out her Dance Studio here.
-t
Monday, February 18, 2013
An Interview with Bishops George Elliott and Patrick Yu
In preparation for the 2012 Clergy Conference of the Anglican Diocese of Toronto, Bishops Patrick Yu and George Elliott sat down to discuss the future of the church and the kind of leadership clerics are required to exercise in it. I shot and edited this video. I'm pleased with most of it, except perhaps that little pause in the beginning. Getting the timing just right can sometimes be tricky when editing!
-t
-t
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sermon: Epiphany 4 2013 - Bruce Smith
Despite the fact that Bruce Smith and I know a lot of people in common and he has a historic connection to my church, we had never met until just before this year's Vital Church Planting Conference: Toronto. Bruce was once an Associate of Church of The Messiah, and later became the Director of Church Army, Canada. Now they are known as Threshold Ministries.
Bruce contacted me just before VCP and asked whether we could have a coffee. It was an epic conversation of the sort where two people recognize and respect pretty quickly where the other is coming from. I could tell immediately that Bruce is a deeply prayerful man and an effective minister of the Gospel. So, naturally, when I saw him at the VCP Conference that Friday I invited him to preach the following Sunday!
Here is his sermon from that day, February 3 (Epiphany 4), 2013.
-t
Bruce contacted me just before VCP and asked whether we could have a coffee. It was an epic conversation of the sort where two people recognize and respect pretty quickly where the other is coming from. I could tell immediately that Bruce is a deeply prayerful man and an effective minister of the Gospel. So, naturally, when I saw him at the VCP Conference that Friday I invited him to preach the following Sunday!
Here is his sermon from that day, February 3 (Epiphany 4), 2013.
-t
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Canterbury
A snapshot of life on retreat at Canterbury Cathedral as part of the "Benedictine Experience":
Day 3:
0730 - We enter in silence into the Cathedral by a side door and shuffle up the steps in the "quire" for Morning Prayer (aka "Matins"). Our group of 28 forms of the bulk of those seated in the elaborately carved stalls, however there are a few random pilgrims with us this morning and a few of the Cathedral Canons. Many of our group have arrived early to meditate before the office. They use the modern language "Common Worship" book for the offices, and we've all gotten quite used to it. The Old Testament readings so far have been racking up an impressive body count--tent pegs through temples and all that.
0800 - Still in silence, we shuffle back to the "Cathedral Lodge"--a newish retreat and guest house a mere 30 yards from the South Transept Door. Breakfast (in blessed silence) is a buffet of hot and cold items. There is bacon (more like Canadian than American, but without the cornmeal), "Kentish" sausages, black pudding, hash browns, baked beans (?!), sautéed mushrooms, and scrambled eggs. You can also have cereal, various breads and danish, yogurt, several types of dried or fresh fruit, and a small selection of meats and cheeses. Oh, and coffee and tea, naturally. So much for monastic simplicity! Silence ends after breakfast.
0950 - We gather in a very nice conference room for the daily plenary session with Bede. He starts with a sort of "Chapter" meeting: he reads a chapter from the Rule of St. Benedict and then offers a bit of commentary about how it applies to community life in his experience, or perhaps about how it has been interpreted historically. Announcements about the day are handled by the organizer of the group.
1000 - The Plenary Talk starts in earnest. I won't dare to say much about the content of the talks, except to say they have to do with things like mindfulness, the balanced life, authority in community, and other such things. We also often go off on tangents based on people's questions and concerns. One of the big themes this year is about how to drop the narrative normally attached to experience. In other words, simply experience things without attaching so much freight to them. The assigned reading before we arrived was a book about meditation--Coming to Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
1045 - Tea break. (and coffee and "biscuits" (think cookies)). Pleasant talk, often touching on topics raised so far.
1120 - More plenary talk today--but on other days we have split off into smaller discussion groups to reflect together about a particular topic. We finish around noon.
1220 - Eucharist in the Jesus Chapel in the crypt of the Cathedral. I usually arrive early since, as one of other three priests in the group, I'm exercising a fair amount of leadership in this department. Typically the Cathedral Vergers have already set up the chapel and laid out vestments. I usually have only had to tweak one or two things, mark the altar book, etc. The Jesus Chapel is a wonderful space--the the eastern most chapel in the crypt. The ceiling is covered with alternating monograms of Jesus and the Virgin Mary. The Altar was once the High Altar of the Cathedral, and the frontal is breathtaking. Bede celebrated on our first day. I took the second. A retired priest with 52 years of experience celebrated today. He has become a bit forgetful and unsteady on his feet, so I was close to to hand to shepherd him. He gave us a particularly heartfelt and lingering blessing at the end.
1300 - Lunch. Yesterday was fish with a white cream sauce. Today was a lovely meat lasagna, veggies, and salad. Dessert was apple pie. They feed us very well, and one gets used to the service. I have made a point of at least knowing the names of our various lovely servers, but I do have some flashbacks to Downton Abbey. By the time I return to my room it has been magically cleaned and tidied by the staff. Ah, fresh sheets every night. Time for a nap. One could get used to this.
1500 - Work (on most days) for an hour. I've been assigned to the Vergers, who have me dusting ancient metal gates. Other are helping receiving guests to the Cathedral, dusting other parts, or helping in the gardens around the Cathedral. However, today we had a special tea, instead, with the Dean.
Dean Willis is a gentle, visionary soul. He speaks powerfully about the place of Canterbury Cathedral within the global church as well as within English society. His love and passion for this place is evident. Today we were his guests for tea in the Deanery Garden. He also took the opportunity to give us a tour of the Deanery.
It's not a huge house, to tell the truth, and most of the rooms are designed for entertaining guests rather than household living, but it's surprisingly comfortable for such a formal space. This is a Dean who loves creatures. He has plants and animals everywhere! The outside is surrounded by the most beautiful rose beds. Inside there are potted plants--even on his desk in his library. But I also spotted several aquariums (with live plants), bird cages, and bows of water and food for the five cats that live in the Deanry.
(It's worth noting that cats are an important part of the life of Canterbury Cathedral. There are about 24 cats on the Cathedral Precincts overall, and they are a necessity given how the medieval drain system would be a rat heaven.)
The Dean also raises exotic chickens, turkeys, pheasants, and ducks. In fact, I got to a see a chick that had hatched mere hours before. I was also delighted by an extremely friendly white rabbit that took a shine to Bede's white habit. The rabbit liked being cradled belly-up like a baby. When it wasn't being held, it nibbled on grass at our feet and sniffed Bede's habit.
I was taken on a tour of the garden where I saw large patches of herbs and vegetables, a greenhouse with tomatoes, and lots of flowers. We were also taken to an orchard with pears, apples, quinces and other delights. They have just started a honey bee colony and were pleased to show us combs, raw honey, and candles.
Pictures of the Dean's Garden can be seen on my Flickr Feed.
1730 - Evensong back in the quire. This the full on choral evensong as only the Anglicans can do it: men and boys choir, gorgeous organ music, etc. There isn't a lot of congregational participation, but it is definitely prayerful!
1815 - "Recreation." Really just cocktails in the Lodge Garden. By now the staff have learned to always have a bucket of ice and some glasses waiting for me for the Bourbon Bede and I enjoy. The head server, a very proper looking young lady always dressed in black, saw me coming and checked her watch. "Are we early or late?" I asked. "Early, sir," she said in a Scottish accent, "but we are ready for you." Bottles of red and white wine and Spitfire Beer were ready to go (along with my bucket of ice, naturally). We have our drinks and some snacks overlooking the south side of the Cathedral and chat pleasantly about our day or our lives back home.
1900 - Supper. Tonight was a delicious beef stir fry severed over noodles with veggies. Dessert was another pie. Conversation at my table was about the differences between living in Canada and the U.S. We also swapped healthcare stories (there was a doctor seated close to us).
2000 - We headed back over the Cathedral to spend an hour in silence. A Verger let us into the crypt by a special entrance and then we were free to encounter the space as richly as possible. I took off my shoes both to feel the stone and to make my steps silent.
I had intense prayer experiences at several of the altars, stepping over ropes and going right up to them. Under delicate frescos that are hundreds and hundreds of years old I placed my hands on the ancient altars and stared into the faces of Christ I saw: crucifixes and icons and some bare crosses. I prayed for myself, for my family, for my congregation. The most powerful moments for me this evening came when I visualized my congregation surrounding the particular Christ I was meditating on. Eventually I ended up in the St. Mary Chapel in the centre of the undercroft. It's the oldest part of the Cathedral. It's dark and small and very womb like. Candles burn in votive stands as Mary with the baby Jesus in her lap look down kindly. I ended up prostrate on a well-worn carpet in front of that altar and prayed until I felt the warmth of God's love and just rested in that bliss for a while. I could have spent a few more hours in the crypt, but as our time came to an end the group gathered in the Mary Chapel for the nighttime prayers known as Compline. Thankfully we are using the Episcopal Church's version of this, which I memorized many years ago. I kept my eyes closed and recited the old prayers. The Psalms for Compline are soothing. The themes are protection and rest.
Silence for the group begins after Compline, so I put my shoes on again and made my way back to my room to compose this blog entry.
Tomorrow is another day. The highlight might be celebrating the Eucharist again. This time we are doing it as one of my "Contemplative" Eucharists, which means that there will be a lot of silence and a few words.
Friday we are making a field trip to St. Mary's Abbey in West Malling. It's another ancient site of prayer, and the current community of cloistered nuns live a very intense life.
I really feel like my retreat is just beginning. The most pressing concerns are just beginning to take shape in my mind. I'm afraid many of those things are a bit too private to share here, but I wanted to share what I could for those who are curious. It's a marvelous place--but also shows that no matter how far you go, there you are.
-t
Thursday, May 3, 2012
A Few Updates
What I have been up to? Many things. For most of the winter I have been spending time every Wednesday with a small group of guys building some canoes. My boat is almost done. The ribs and planks are all in place. Now I've got to finish sanding the interior (I've already made one pass at it) and then coat it oil. While the oil soaks in we'll "fair" the outside shape of the canoe with sanding to make it perfectly round. Then comes many layers of varnish inside. We'll stretch canvas on the outside with a special filler. Then paint. Then she's done!
This is the first boat I've ever built, and I one of the things that I've noticed is that I have far more emotional attachment to her than to anything else I've made. Something about the organic quality of a boat really makes the connection visceral. When I hammer in a nail I notice the way the whole boat vibrates. She is organic and living. If you've never built or owned a boat you might think this is hyperbole, but really I mean it. The Japanese have a concept of "Kami". Many objects, like Samurai Swords, are said to be inhabited by a Kami, and I totally get that. I'm certainly not going to worship my boat, but I do respect the mysterious quality of spirit that seems to inhabit it.
There is a natural affinity between pastoral work and boat building, which you can see best embodied, perhaps, is places like The Carpenter's Boat Shop. It's a Christian Community that is also a school that teaches apprentices the skills of wooden boat building. One of my classmates, Kim Hoare, has recently become the Director of the Carpenter's Boat Shop, and I really hoping to be able to do one of their "Boat Building for Clergy" retreats. So much of what we clergy is do is stuck up in our heads that using our hands to build things is enormously satisfying.
Life in the parish has been complex. Like many small urban congregations, we face a lot of challenges that have their roots in deep societal trends. For the last year I've been dealing with a radical decline in staffing that has left me shouldering more and more responsibility. At the peak I had three people at my staff meetings. Now... I find myself unclogging toilets and creating the leaflet for Sunday and everything in between. My Youth and Children's Ministry person (part time) will be gone by the end of the summer, and all that's left is a very part time person who mainly just checks the phone and e-mail and manages space booking.
Easter nearly killed me (spiritually). In Lent I broke down crying more than once. My Interim Director of Music, Bruce Kirkptrick Hill, died on Lent 4, a mere two weeks before Easter. I've known Bruce and his wife well for about six years (going back to my St. Mary Magdalene days) and so this was a personal loss as much as a professional one. What do you do when your organist dies right before Holy Week? well, first you take care of people. In this case that meant being there for Stephanie, his window. As it happens, I was her communications link to Canada while Bruce was dying. I relayed messages and did my best to comfort Steph.
Steph. I call her "sis" when I see her in person. I started that back when we were serving together at St. Mary Magdalene's. When she was hired we hit it off incredibly well. Perhaps it was here Mennonite background (Betsy shares some of that heritage) or something else, but we just always had a great deal of mutual respect and trust.
So I did my best to be there for Steph. I had been there for Bruce--visited him in the hospital, even--before his fateful trip to Cuba. But after he died I was pretty grieved.
There was a Tuesday BCP Eucharist that I did for some older members of the congregation shortly after his death. I could barely get through the sermon because I started crying as I preached about Bruce. The reading was about Jesus feeding the 5,000. And my sermon was about how, in the Resurrection, Jesus pulls together all the crumbs. All the fragments of this man's life would be pulled drawn back together in the kind of abundance and fullness that characterizes God's crazy abundance. I cried and cried. And these old folks, who know and love me as I love them, were right there with me. Honestly, if I had hand picked the people in my life I would like to break down crying with, it wouldn't have been much different. Older folks know grief and have a patience and compassion that is deep, deep, deep. I composed myself and did a liturgy that would have made Bruce proud.
I was honoured to be asked to be the Liturgical Deacon for Bruce's Requiem at St. Mary Magdalene's. It was wonderfully familiar to be back there, and yet there were some changes. As usual, I was awestruck by the professionalism and poise of the "SMM" crew. These guys know liturgy. Not just by rote, they really understand the principles of what makes good worship at adapt flawlessly to changing circumstance. Father David is doing a great job there, and I applaud and support the work they are doing.
Now, imagine 570 people packing the church. Standing room only. Then imagine many of the best church musicians in Toronto packing the Gallery Choir. How about one of the best Organists in Canada on the bench. I have been to many church services in my life, including some in great Cathedrals of England, and I have to say that this was the best church music I have heard in my life. It was out of this world, literally. I was really glad I could be a small part of that.
Back at Messiah we scrambled to find a musician to fill in for Holy Week. Someone to pick up the pieces and move forward with what Bruce had planned. He did a fine job, but attendance was disappointing. It is hard to determine why, but we simply had fewer people this year for Holy Week Services despite having what I thought was some pretty awesome liturgical content. I won't give you a blow-by-blow, but the worship (music, prayers, everything) were pretty impressive, I just wish more people had come for it all.
Normally I would have taken a few days off in Lent to make a retreat and then a Sunday after Easter to recover. I could do neither this year, and the result is that I have been really struggling to keep it together. I'm pretty much totally burned out, but it hard to see how I can take any time off until my Honourary Assistant comes back from holiday. When he does, my plan is borrow a canoe and take Henry into the woods with a guy friend and his 2-year-old for two nights.
Perhaps I'll get some rest this weekend. Friday and Saturday I'm going with my skipper from sailboat racing to pick up his new boat. we are looking forward to a very exciting summer of racing on the lake, and this new boat is a whole new league for us.
There are many challenges the parish faces that I don't feel I can blog about. It is much on my mind, of course, but it's hard to say much at this stage. I'm obviously exhausted and burned out. But I think we are moving things forward despite that.
On a Diocesan level I've been heavily committed. I'm now a Fresh Start Coordinator, which means that I spend 3/4 of a day once a month teaching clergy in transition. It's a sort of continuing education initiative designed to keep people sharp and in tune with the latest research in the field of ministry.
And I'm also serving on a committee that is helping to reshape the communications strategy of the Diocese.
And I'm helping to coordinate new media (particularly video) projects for the Diocese.
And I'm "consulting" with the Back to Church Sunday Committee (the contest to give an iPad to the best commercial inviting people to church was my idea).
And I'm still involved with the "Fresh Expressions" movements in the Diocese. The committee is being restructured, but I'm part of all that.
And I've been asked to help with some other one-off projects. I do say "no" to some of them... but perhaps not as many as I should. Sigh.
This summer I'm travelling to England for a retreat at Canterbury Cathedral. It's the reunion for the the group that did the same thing two years ago. I love Canterbury, and I really look forward to resting in the arms of the mother church of the communion. I expect England itself will offer up the usual charms, as well. I'm hoping to maybe visit the maritime museums in Greenwich. I'm also interviewing a Church of England big-shot on behalf of the Diocese (we have a kind of information exchange with them). We were hoping that Betsy and Henry could come with me, this year, but we just don't have the money for that, and a grant we thought might come fell through. It turns out that no grant organization we can find thinks clergy families should be supported to go on retreat. Don't get me started on the short-sightedness of that particular policy!
Henry is amazing. Right now he is daily mastering new phrases and words. This morning, for perhaps the first time, he said, "I love you daddy" when I dropped him off at Daycare. How incredible is that?! He just started a fixation on Thomas the Train. Ilove him to death, and I want nothing more than to load him up in a canoe and take him in to woods and love him in the wild way of nature. I have so much I want to teach him and show him. He's a delight.
That's probably a good place to end for the moment. If you've read this far you deserve a special prize! So here it is: last night I had a crazy dream in which I went sailing with President Obama on a high-performance racing Catamaran. It was just the two of us racing this carbon fibre beast. I spent a lot of time with the guy in my dream, actually, and can tell you that he is exactly what you would imagine.
-t
This is the first boat I've ever built, and I one of the things that I've noticed is that I have far more emotional attachment to her than to anything else I've made. Something about the organic quality of a boat really makes the connection visceral. When I hammer in a nail I notice the way the whole boat vibrates. She is organic and living. If you've never built or owned a boat you might think this is hyperbole, but really I mean it. The Japanese have a concept of "Kami". Many objects, like Samurai Swords, are said to be inhabited by a Kami, and I totally get that. I'm certainly not going to worship my boat, but I do respect the mysterious quality of spirit that seems to inhabit it.
There is a natural affinity between pastoral work and boat building, which you can see best embodied, perhaps, is places like The Carpenter's Boat Shop. It's a Christian Community that is also a school that teaches apprentices the skills of wooden boat building. One of my classmates, Kim Hoare, has recently become the Director of the Carpenter's Boat Shop, and I really hoping to be able to do one of their "Boat Building for Clergy" retreats. So much of what we clergy is do is stuck up in our heads that using our hands to build things is enormously satisfying.
Life in the parish has been complex. Like many small urban congregations, we face a lot of challenges that have their roots in deep societal trends. For the last year I've been dealing with a radical decline in staffing that has left me shouldering more and more responsibility. At the peak I had three people at my staff meetings. Now... I find myself unclogging toilets and creating the leaflet for Sunday and everything in between. My Youth and Children's Ministry person (part time) will be gone by the end of the summer, and all that's left is a very part time person who mainly just checks the phone and e-mail and manages space booking.
Easter nearly killed me (spiritually). In Lent I broke down crying more than once. My Interim Director of Music, Bruce Kirkptrick Hill, died on Lent 4, a mere two weeks before Easter. I've known Bruce and his wife well for about six years (going back to my St. Mary Magdalene days) and so this was a personal loss as much as a professional one. What do you do when your organist dies right before Holy Week? well, first you take care of people. In this case that meant being there for Stephanie, his window. As it happens, I was her communications link to Canada while Bruce was dying. I relayed messages and did my best to comfort Steph.
Steph. I call her "sis" when I see her in person. I started that back when we were serving together at St. Mary Magdalene's. When she was hired we hit it off incredibly well. Perhaps it was here Mennonite background (Betsy shares some of that heritage) or something else, but we just always had a great deal of mutual respect and trust.
So I did my best to be there for Steph. I had been there for Bruce--visited him in the hospital, even--before his fateful trip to Cuba. But after he died I was pretty grieved.
There was a Tuesday BCP Eucharist that I did for some older members of the congregation shortly after his death. I could barely get through the sermon because I started crying as I preached about Bruce. The reading was about Jesus feeding the 5,000. And my sermon was about how, in the Resurrection, Jesus pulls together all the crumbs. All the fragments of this man's life would be pulled drawn back together in the kind of abundance and fullness that characterizes God's crazy abundance. I cried and cried. And these old folks, who know and love me as I love them, were right there with me. Honestly, if I had hand picked the people in my life I would like to break down crying with, it wouldn't have been much different. Older folks know grief and have a patience and compassion that is deep, deep, deep. I composed myself and did a liturgy that would have made Bruce proud.
I was honoured to be asked to be the Liturgical Deacon for Bruce's Requiem at St. Mary Magdalene's. It was wonderfully familiar to be back there, and yet there were some changes. As usual, I was awestruck by the professionalism and poise of the "SMM" crew. These guys know liturgy. Not just by rote, they really understand the principles of what makes good worship at adapt flawlessly to changing circumstance. Father David is doing a great job there, and I applaud and support the work they are doing.
Now, imagine 570 people packing the church. Standing room only. Then imagine many of the best church musicians in Toronto packing the Gallery Choir. How about one of the best Organists in Canada on the bench. I have been to many church services in my life, including some in great Cathedrals of England, and I have to say that this was the best church music I have heard in my life. It was out of this world, literally. I was really glad I could be a small part of that.
Back at Messiah we scrambled to find a musician to fill in for Holy Week. Someone to pick up the pieces and move forward with what Bruce had planned. He did a fine job, but attendance was disappointing. It is hard to determine why, but we simply had fewer people this year for Holy Week Services despite having what I thought was some pretty awesome liturgical content. I won't give you a blow-by-blow, but the worship (music, prayers, everything) were pretty impressive, I just wish more people had come for it all.
Normally I would have taken a few days off in Lent to make a retreat and then a Sunday after Easter to recover. I could do neither this year, and the result is that I have been really struggling to keep it together. I'm pretty much totally burned out, but it hard to see how I can take any time off until my Honourary Assistant comes back from holiday. When he does, my plan is borrow a canoe and take Henry into the woods with a guy friend and his 2-year-old for two nights.
Perhaps I'll get some rest this weekend. Friday and Saturday I'm going with my skipper from sailboat racing to pick up his new boat. we are looking forward to a very exciting summer of racing on the lake, and this new boat is a whole new league for us.
There are many challenges the parish faces that I don't feel I can blog about. It is much on my mind, of course, but it's hard to say much at this stage. I'm obviously exhausted and burned out. But I think we are moving things forward despite that.
On a Diocesan level I've been heavily committed. I'm now a Fresh Start Coordinator, which means that I spend 3/4 of a day once a month teaching clergy in transition. It's a sort of continuing education initiative designed to keep people sharp and in tune with the latest research in the field of ministry.
And I'm also serving on a committee that is helping to reshape the communications strategy of the Diocese.
And I'm helping to coordinate new media (particularly video) projects for the Diocese.
And I'm "consulting" with the Back to Church Sunday Committee (the contest to give an iPad to the best commercial inviting people to church was my idea).
And I'm still involved with the "Fresh Expressions" movements in the Diocese. The committee is being restructured, but I'm part of all that.
And I've been asked to help with some other one-off projects. I do say "no" to some of them... but perhaps not as many as I should. Sigh.
This summer I'm travelling to England for a retreat at Canterbury Cathedral. It's the reunion for the the group that did the same thing two years ago. I love Canterbury, and I really look forward to resting in the arms of the mother church of the communion. I expect England itself will offer up the usual charms, as well. I'm hoping to maybe visit the maritime museums in Greenwich. I'm also interviewing a Church of England big-shot on behalf of the Diocese (we have a kind of information exchange with them). We were hoping that Betsy and Henry could come with me, this year, but we just don't have the money for that, and a grant we thought might come fell through. It turns out that no grant organization we can find thinks clergy families should be supported to go on retreat. Don't get me started on the short-sightedness of that particular policy!
Henry is amazing. Right now he is daily mastering new phrases and words. This morning, for perhaps the first time, he said, "I love you daddy" when I dropped him off at Daycare. How incredible is that?! He just started a fixation on Thomas the Train. Ilove him to death, and I want nothing more than to load him up in a canoe and take him in to woods and love him in the wild way of nature. I have so much I want to teach him and show him. He's a delight.
That's probably a good place to end for the moment. If you've read this far you deserve a special prize! So here it is: last night I had a crazy dream in which I went sailing with President Obama on a high-performance racing Catamaran. It was just the two of us racing this carbon fibre beast. I spent a lot of time with the guy in my dream, actually, and can tell you that he is exactly what you would imagine.
-t
Sermon - Easter 4 2012
Here is my sermon from Easter 4 ("Good Shepherd Sunday"). Thanks to various circumstances (like people not showing up for scheduled appointments) I had an unusually large amount of time to prepare for writing this sermon by reading more than the usual number of commentaries. I found lots of inspiring content, and the results are evident. Even the way that I am speaking too fast is evidence of how excited I was by what I found in the research time of my sermon prep.
Incidentally, speaking too fast is my go-to homiletic sin. But sometimes my flow gets going and it's hard to slow down. But if I had to choose between too-fast and excited and slow and detached, I'm going to choose the former mode every time. Because I believe strongly that the role of emotions is preaching is absolutely critical, and I am willing to make many trade-offs in order to have an emotive moment in preaching, especially with this congregation. The Church of The Messiah values authenticity above all else, and they will forgive me talking too fast if they think I am telling them about something that excites me.
Anyway, I felt like this was one of my stronger sermons in the last few weeks, so I went ahead and posted it. Enjoy!
-t
Incidentally, speaking too fast is my go-to homiletic sin. But sometimes my flow gets going and it's hard to slow down. But if I had to choose between too-fast and excited and slow and detached, I'm going to choose the former mode every time. Because I believe strongly that the role of emotions is preaching is absolutely critical, and I am willing to make many trade-offs in order to have an emotive moment in preaching, especially with this congregation. The Church of The Messiah values authenticity above all else, and they will forgive me talking too fast if they think I am telling them about something that excites me.
Anyway, I felt like this was one of my stronger sermons in the last few weeks, so I went ahead and posted it. Enjoy!
-t
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