The Defining Question of Pastoral Ministry

I came in kind of latish this morning--I've been putting in a lot of hours and I'm behind on my sleep. I start to get stupid when I get behind in my sleep, so this was a wise thing to do.

Anyway, came in and did some little odds and ends and then went off for lunch with Simon Bell. He's on the Diocesan staff as a Congregational Development Consultant and is also the Youth Worker at Ascension, Port Perry. I met him through his involvement with some of the Parkdale Ministry stuff and we've kept it touch since. He's a good person to bounce ideas off of, and we have a similar sense of ministry and humor. We went to a Thai place just around the corner that I've been meaning to try. It was descent Thai food, and reasonably priced, too, which is good. No doubt it will become one of my regular haunts.

We talked about Messiah and about Ascension and various practical and theoretical aspects of what we up to. I found it particularly interesting to reflect with him on the problem of maintaining one's spiritual life and yet be effectively engaged with the pastoral work of church. On the face of it, this doesn't seem like much of a problem at all, but practically speaking it's a hard nut to crack.

How do you make room in every day for the sort of spiritual development that we are expected to maintain to lead our Christian communities of faith?

I know some people that simply say the Daily Office everyday as part of their church routine. This has history, tradition, and the rubrics of the Prayer Book to Commend it. In fact, technically clergy are required to say the Daily Office in Canada. I'm also committed to the Daily Office via my Rule of Life that I maintain as an Associate of the Order of the Holy Cross. But I'm not sure how to integrate the Office into my COTM routine. There are many possible scenarios I can imagine, and I'm just being patient with myself and the Holy Spirit to see what develops. I do know that I prefer to say the Office with a small group, that I like using the same readings as all the other people saying the Office in the Anglican Church, and that I like using a well-thought out and truly prayerful liturgy.

I was discussing this with one of the Assistant Curates at Redeemer, Andrew F., who suggested that we might get a Daily Office group going down at Redeemer. Right now they all say the Office separately, which is what we are doing at COTM, as well. So perhaps by gathering together we'll have the critical mass to sustain a nice Daily Office group. We'll see.

There is much deeper wisdom to be had in this discussion. It really goes to the heart of the question of how ministry is done. You see, none of the things that fill my day that are not prayer could be called unworthy of my attention. They are ministry tasks, and some of them are even done in a prayerful manner.

Hmmm... my Benedictine training would lead me to believe the answer is to be found in the effort to shape my life according to a balance of Prayer, Work, Study, and Leisure. And yet my formation as a priest and pastor tells me that the flourishing of the ministry of this parish is my highest vocational priority. See the conflict? Do I spend time developing the concept behind the grant proposal due on the 28th or do I meditate? Hard call, actually. Both could be said to advance the ministry of the parish and the building of the kingdom of God. Both seem good and important. Not surprisingly, I'm inclined to work towards the grant proposal. It would mean a very exciting and fruitful new direction for ministry here. And yet I find myself complaining about not being as centered as I should be in my relationship with God.

It's the defining struggle of Pastoral Ministry. Sigh.

-t