Male-female spiritual partnerships are not unknown in Tibetan Buddhism. In order to practice "Highest Yoga Tantra," for instance, an aspirant must give up his monk vows (including celibacy) and begin having very ritualized sex with a compatible adept. This kind of Tantra is a real fascination for Westerners, of course, although I don't think it's common nor nearly as "fun" as it sounds to most people. It's a very disciplined endeavor in real life--one of the main practices involves maintaining a high level of arousal for long periods of time (like, hours) without orgasm. But, again, one must give up being a monk in order to practice this form of Tibetan spiritual discipline.
An anthropologist might say that this phenomenon is a kind of "transgressive sacrality"--that is, a religious practice which derives it's efficacy from it's violation of religious taboo:
Transgressive sacrality’ within a religious tradition is something completely different [from heresy] for, though violating the interdictions and observances of the tradition in question, it does not seek to replace the latter. Instead it lays claim to a superior degree and second order of spirituality derived precisely from the violation of socioreligious interdictions whose general validity and binding force is not at all questioned by the transgressor. In fact, transgressive sacrality cannot operate without the existence of such binding and powerful taboos, and often presents itself as an esoteric form of the mother-religion, the latter serving as the exoteric prerequisite and recruiting ground for it. (source)
The idea of transgressive sacrality is often linked with the "crazy wisdom" tradition within Buddhism--esteemed teachers violating the rules as a kind of pedagogy. Living a Paradox as a way to break through spiritual materialism.
But this couple is not doing HYT (Highest Yoga Tantra)--but instead are trying to model a kind of male-female spiritual partnership of a different kind. They describe their reasons for doing this thusly:
One, he felt that it was impossible to keep secrets in this age of Google Earth. Two, he decided that if Buddhism was really going to succeed in America, it would have to be more inclusive of women.
“If these ideas that will help people are going to make it in the West,” Ms. McNally said, “it can’t be a male-dominated culture, because people are not going to accept that.” (source)
They are transgressive not because they are having sex (which they say aren't), but because they are challenging traditional notions of gender and relationship within the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. Monks aren't supposed to do this kind of thing.
But their practice — which even they admit is radical by the standards of the religious community whose ideas they aim to further — has sent shock waves through the Tibetan Buddhist community as far as the Dalai Lama himself, whose office indicated its disapproval of the living arrangement by rebuffing Mr. Roach’s attempt to teach at Dharamsala, India, in 2006. (In a letter, the office said his “unconventional behavior does not accord with His Holiness’s teachings and practices.”) (source)
Yet there is something undeniably appealing about this kind of practice. It's marriage times ten--an exercise is attending to someone other than yourself!
They eat the same foods from the same plate and often read the same book, waiting until one or the other finishes the page before continuing. Both, they say, are practices of learning to submit one’s will to that of another. (source)
Marriage is a spiritual discipline, and I think looking at these kinds of extreme examples from other traditions can be helpful for understanding Christian marriage. For one thing, if gives us a way to understand intimacy that is not necessarily sexual.
-t
No comments:
Post a Comment