Transfiguration: Dwellings
The Feast of the Transfiguration takes place on Monday, and we are doing little to mark it here at SMM besides the usual daily Mass. We usually only do one big weekday Solemn Mass a month; August's being The Assumption of the Virgin Mary on the 15th. Too bad for the Transfiguration, which is a very "preachable" feast: a feast, possibly, for our times. It speaks to the tension between the command to go out and serve those in need (cf. Luke 10:25-37)and the impulse to sit and adore Christ (cf. Luke 10:38-42). It's great that those two parables come back-to-back, and the key to understanding their relationship may be in what our Lord says at the beginning of the first pericope: the law is to Love God with your entire being and your neighbor as yourself. That's a HUGE "and."
Looking to Sunday's Lectionary Texts, "Paul" is not much of a help. He pushes us toward celestial life: "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:2-3). (Of course, this might not have been written by Paul. Raymond Brown said that there is a slightly greater probability that it was written by one of his disciples rather than by Paul. About 60% of biblical scholars think it wasn't Paul. But I'm not sure how important it is to answer that question, anyway.)
The Gospel text for Sunday (Luke 12:13-21) seems to also skew us towards detachment from earthly things. Disputes about Money, J.C. says, are foolish. Reminds me of Mary (Magdalene?) who anoints our Lord's feet with oil (Luke 7:37ff // Matthew 26:6ff // John 12:3ff). Judas argues that the money could have been spent on the poor, but Jesus validates the prophetic and devotional character of her witness.
So I suppose throwing ourselves into the task of service to the world in Christ's name is not sufficient, somehow. There has to be a piece of us that addresses God.
The mistake the Rich Fool makes is to believe that his wealth had spiritual value. In the parable God addresses him harshly: "You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?" (Luke 12:20). I think that God addresses this dude because this dude failed to address God. When Jesus gives the two great commandments he phrases the first in a way that implies real devotion and focus and submission to God. Whereas the neighbor love business is spoken of in much more balanced way (love your neighbor as yourself). Our relationship to our neighbor somehow exists within an ethical bubble created by healthy self-regard, but the love we owe to God is something much more extreme. "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind" (Luke 10:27a).
Neighbor-love needs a healthy ego. You have some kind of self-love in order to love others properly. God-love seems to require the surrender of self-regard--the utter and perfect orientation to God (cf. The Cloud of Unknowing). Think of Martha's sister Mary sitting at Jesus' feet and staring up at him with rapt attention. I think of some moments I've had with prayer like that--sitting and reveling the presence of God. I've actually felt my skin tingle and vibrate at the sheer ecstasy of pure orientation to God.
Let not, therefore, but travail therein till thou feel list. For at the first time when thou dost it, thou findest but a darkness; and as it were a cloud of unknowing, thou knowest not what, saving that thou feelest in thy will a naked intent unto God. This darkness and this cloud is, howsoever thou dost, betwixt thee and thy God, and letteth thee that thou mayest neither see Him clearly by light of understanding in thy reason, nor feel Him in sweetness of love in thine affection. And therefore shape thee to bide in this darkness as long as thou mayest, evermore crying after Him that thou lovest. For if ever thou shalt feel Him or see Him, as it may be here, it behoveth always to be in this cloud in this darkness. And if thou wilt busily travail as I bid thee, I trust in His mercy that thou shalt come thereto.
That stuff gives me the chills, it touches so close to the bone of the matter.
Anyway, I've preached all this already. I need to find the new level. I return to the relationship with the congregation. What will be the character and content of my relationship to the people of SMM tomorrow morning? How is it affected by my departure at the end of the month? Should I spend these last few sermons summing up my teaching here? Shall I spend it processing the emotional consequences of my move?
What does this Gospel say? That the world is melting away? That we shouldn't hold onto the labors at hand as though they were permanent? Certainly it feels like the fruits of my labors in the SMM vineyard are about to fade away. What's my legacy going to be?
These thoughts have taken me to an emotional place that feels similar to nostalgia and holy melancholy. It's not grief for things lost, but a piercing awareness of a pastor's love. Nothing mushy or sentimental about it. It's quite sharp. The kind of love that makes the lover frustrated with and proud of the beloved at the same time. I want to aim my bow strung with Mary-like devotional intention not to the clouds above, but towards the Christs in the pews. I want to tell them how much I long for them to touch God. How to do that in a way that won't scare the hell out of them???
I suppose the gift I have to give is the disclosure of a naked and unembarrassed "intent unto God." That's half of the Gospel. It's the in-breath we take before we read it aloud. The out-breath contains the second half of the Gospel: the revelation of God's action.
So what does that look like? Passionate, sure. Eschatological, sure. A love that urges the beloved into being in the fullest sense themselves. I must grasp hold of that vision of the kingdom people they are destined to become. I must preach towards that. (Why look backward to a Christian society that once was? Let the dead bury the dead. I want kingdom come preaching!)
Sigh. I'll stop here, else this post becomes ridiculously long. Right now it's just a snap shot of how my preaching is evolving for tomorrow. Hopefully the Holy Spirit will come between now and tomorrow to fill in the gaps....
-t
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